The title of this post might be slightly misleading. Don’t let it fool you. This isn’t much of a how-to guide at all, but rather my own personal story. I hope you find it funny…
It all started one random Tuesday morning. I showered, ate breakfast, and dressed for work. I put on my black skinny jeans, black high-top Converse sneakers, a crew neck cream-colored sweater, and rhinestone button earrings. Once I was ready, I grabbed my Kindle, and rushed out the door to get to the subway.
After a few stops, I settled into a seat on the train and began to read. Not long after, a group of high schooler’s, all of them clad in plaid uniforms, hopped on the train, and began to converse loudly. I tried my best to read, but the kids’ voices were boisterous and distracting. Soon the lady sitting next to me got up and moved, and in her place, a gangly, freckled-faced boy with wavy brown hair sat down. He was no more than fifteen or sixteen tops. I continued to read (The Perks of Being a Wallflower) and I felt as though he was reading over my shoulder (I really hate when people do that, by the way.) I ignored it, but after some time he quietly uttered, “Hey,” under his breath.
At first I assumed he wasn’t talking to me, so I continued to read (I was at the part where Sam stands up in the car while listening to Landslide by Fleetwood Mac.)
“Hey,” he said again, this time louder.
I raised my eyebrows and looked at him. “Hi,” I said.
“What are you reading?”
“The Perks of being a Wallflower.” And with that, I went back to reading. (By this time Charlie was talking about Aunt Helen.)
“What school do you go to?”
I took note of his penny loafers, navy blue stock, uniform pants, and tried not to laugh. This kid thinks I’m in high school? I asked myself. Wait. This kid thinks I’m in high school. Awesome. I thought.
“What school do you go to?” he asked again. “Saint Ann’s?”
I considered letting it go on, but he was so sincere that I felt a little bad. “No, I go to college actually…and I’m 29…almost 30…and married.”
“You are not.”
“Yes,” I insisted. “I’m afraid I am.”
“No, you’re not. C’mon what school do you go to? I’m not gonna stalk you or anything.”
“I’m serious.” I showed him my ring to prove it. “See,” I said. “I can show you my driver’s license, too, if you want.”
“No, that’s ok,” he said, convinced now. He stood up, and flung his backpack over one shoulder. “Nice meeting you…,” he mumbled.
A few minutes later it was time for me to get off the train. As I walked to work, I couldn’t help but laugh. I looked down at my Converse shoes, and realized that maybe I was dressed kind of young. I mean, I am young, but not sixteen. Still, it made me smile, and inspired me to promptly put a status update on Facebook.
In other news, my dad has edited my name in his phone-book to “Mrs. Robinson.”
And that my friends is the story of how I found out- I still got it.