Remember When…The TV Addition…

Remember when…

Daria was sooooo not amused, and Quinn wore baby tee’s every day?

Daria, you were so ahead of your time.

Or when…

Doug had the hots for Patty Mayonnaise?

Patti was quite the hottie.

Or when…

The Rugrats used to say cute words like, “nakey?”

Yikes, remember Angelica, too?

Remember when…

Jordan Catalano’s baby blues made up for his lack of social skills, and his ability to articulate?

Never was the word "like" used so much in one sentence, and never did it sound so good.

Or when…

Joey Potter couldn’t stop smiling and talking out of the side of her mouth?

"Dawson, I'm the girl that guys are friends with, not the girl that guys date." Oh Joey...

Or when…

Felicity chopped off her hair? (I’m still not over that one.)

Things got awkward when Felicity's hair was as short as both of the lead men on the show...

Remember when…

Nick and Jessica were so in love, and even farted in front of each other to show the whole world just how solid of a couple they were?

I wouldn't get too close to the danger zone if I were you, Nick, she's been known to clear a room.

Or when…

Jessica brought the shawl back, and the no make-up look?

P.S. Weren't these Jess's glory days? She never looked so good as she did on Newlyweds. Why is that?

Remember when…

Clarissa really did explain it all?

So young, but so wise...

Or when…

Blossom wore those weird hats?

I bet she wishes she could take this one back...

Or when…

Charles was in charge of our days and our nights?

What a guy, what a guy...

Or when…

Urkel loved his cheese, and Laura Winslow?

"Got any cheeeeeeese?"

Remember when…

Jessie Spano had a break down?

"I'm so excited...I'm so excited...I'm. So. Scared." <--What was the lesson to be learned here? That if you take too many diet pills, you're going to have a break down...or end up in a movie called Showgirls.

Or when…

Zack and Kelly broke up?  GASP!!!

Oh, the heartbreak...

Or when…

Slater used to call Jessie “Mama?”  <–Wee bit awkward.

Now that's what I call true love...

Remember when…

Kelly and Brenda fought over Dylan…for, like, centuries?

Three was definitely a crowd for these guys...

Or when…

Andrea Zuckerman looked entirely too old to play a high school student?

C'mon Aaron Spelling, she looks like a G-ma!

Or when…

Brandon had that awesome haircut?

Brandon was rocking the blow out long before Pauly D came onto the scene.

~The End.

About these ads

Hello Procrastination My Old Friend, I’ve Come To Talk With You Again.

AHHHHHH procrastination, we have such a toxic relationship, so why do we keep coming back to each other?  WHY???!!!

Procrastination and I are kind of like Sid and Nancy, but without all the hairspray.

Oh, Sid and Nanc, the epitome of a dysfunctional relationship. P.S. If you haven't seen "Sid and Nancy" I highly recommend it.

The thing is, when I put things off it never turns out well.  I’m not really sure why I don’t learn my lesson.  I absolutely hate the feeling of scrambling at the last-minute to get things done, and each time I find myself in that position, I vow to never drag my feet ever again.  It’s always the same, though, even when I tell myself that I’ll do things differently the next time.

And yet…

There I am once again saying hello to my old friend, Procrastination.


I’ve noticed a trend with my procrastination, though.  It goes in spurts.  I will have weeks and weeks of getting all of my school work done in a timely fashion, exercising regularly, cooking very involved meals, and in general just getting lots of stuff done.  Then it’s inevitable, I hit a wall, and that is exactly what happened to me this week.  The past two weeks Matt and I both have had midterms, and I also had a ten page research paper for an Abnormal Psychology class due that just about killed me!  On top of that, I had to submit fifteen pages for a novels class I’m in.  Even though I didn’t wait until the last-minute to prepare for any of those projects, by the time it was all over, I crashed big time.  This week so far has been a total bust, and I can’t really afford for it to be.  I have plenty to get done by tomorrow, and I really haven’t done anything substantial yet.


I’m procrastinating even further by writing this post.

Because as you can see…

This is honestly a pretty good depiction of me today (minus the awesome blue phone.)

So far today…

  • I’ve broken one of my pre-New Years Resolutions and already updated on Facebook twice.
  • I’ve eaten an entire bag of POP chips even though I wasn’t hungry.
  • I’ve talked on Skype for an average of 2 hours so far.
  • I’ve researched recipes for din-din for at least an hour.

And lastly…

  • I spent entirely way too long reading up on the latest Kim Kardashian drama.

What ever is a girl to do?!

To answer my own question…

Get it together, Palma!

Does anyone else have the same problem with procrastination?  We can always form a club and make awesome excuses for each other…tomorrow.  Thoughts?

Perhaps this can be our logo…

Who is with me? Anybody with me?

Let me know if you’re interested.

Until then, back to work.

~The End.

Hooray for Halloween…That Scary Boo-ey Halloween

Don’t you just love Halloween?!  It’s the one night of the year where you can dress up as someone completely different from yourself, where gaudy make-up, channel your dark side, or even cross-dress if you’re into that sort of thing.  The bottom line is, anything goes.  Just think, you can be anything or anyone you want.  The possibilities are endless.

In the past I’ve dressed up as…(Well, these are the costumes I remember…)

Age 1:  Annie from the movie Annie…(I basically came out of the womb singing “Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow, you’re only a daaaaaaayyyyy ahhhhhh-waaaaaaayyyyyyy!”)  P.S.  My mom even put a little red curly wig on me.

Age 5:  Minnie Mouse

Age 7:  Tinkerbell

Age 9:  Wednesday from The Adams Family (I had a headless doll and everything.)

Age 11:  A male convict.  (What can I say?  I was inspired after going to Alcatraz in San Francisco and learning about Al Capone.)

Age 12:  A warty ugly witch

Age 14:  A cowgirl from Coyote Ugly

Age 15:  Juliet in her angel costume from the modern Romeo and Juliet

I still love this picture. My costume wasn't quite as good as this, but I remember that I spent hours and hours making my angel wings...

Age 16:  A hula girl

Age 17:  Britney Spears in her “Crazy” video outfit, which consisted of a shimmery green midriff top, complete with a wireless headset microphone.  Yeah, I did that…what of it?

Age  20:  Britney gone cowgirl  (P.S. Now I have no idea what that meant, but I think it was my interpretation of Britney Spears if she dressed like a cowgirl.  Yeah, I went through a Brit-Brit phase…that lasted about 6 years.  Don’t ask.)

Thought you all might appreciate this…

Don't laugh...Don't laugh...Okay, you can laugh.

Age 23:  Cowgirl take 2 (I’m noticing a trend here…)

Age 25:  An 80’s fitness instructor



This picture was my style inspiration for becoming Dolly...How'd I do?

So, let’s talk about the Dolly costume for a quick second.  To sum it up simply…It was friggin’ exhausting being Dolly!  She wasn’t kidding when she said, “I look just like the girls next door… if you happen to live next door to an amusement park!”  Because that’s exactly what I felt like walking around as her for a night.  First of all, the bubbies were exhausting!!  I had to wear three bras stuffed with paper towel to get the right sized ta-ta’s.  I can’t imagine carrying the kind of weight around that Doll does.  She must have to do lots of back strengthening exercises to hold those suckers up!  Second of all, don’t even get me started on the hair!  So, I know Dolly doesn’t wear a wig (that we know of…) but that big hair is pretty burdensome, too!  Holy cow!  Let me just say that that’s a commitment rocking hair that large and in charge.  Maybe it’s because I can’t stand lots of products and stuff in my hair, or maybe it’s because it drives me crazy not being able to run my hands through my hair, but that beefed up hair was the pits.  Lastly, and third of all, to really metamorphosis into the Doll-inator, there has to be copious amounts of make-up.  I mean, you can’t be Dolly without the works…foundation, loose powder, pressed powder, cream blush, powder blush, pencil eyeliner, liquid eyeliner, multiple eye shadow colors, bright pink lipstick, and last but not lease, false lashes.  Now, I don’t know if Dolly wears that much make-up when she’s just chilling at home, but if she does; hat’s off to you, Doll!!

I must confess, my original plan was not to be Dolly Parton for Halloween, I was actually going to be Sookie from True Blood.  I bought the Merlott’s baby-tee, had the little apron ready to go, but when I put the wig on, it was just so completely ridiculous and big that there was no taming that sucker down.  I tried to put it back in a ponytail, and I’d say to myself, “Does that look like Sookie?”  I thought no.  I tried to put it in a side ponytail…”Does that look like Sookie?!”  A big fat no resounded.  So, I thought, “What’s a girl to do with a big blonde Texas beauty queen wig?”  Wait for it…wait for it…Be Dolly Parton instead!  DUH!

And thus the idea to become Dolly for Halloween was sprung.

Now, I don’t know if you noticed that I said become Dolly for Halloween, instead of be Dolly for Halloween…You want to know why?

That would be because this was more than a little dress up as Dolly, this was like a channel of Dolly.  Once I put that wig on, I was Dolly Parton.  I danced around in an interpretive country line dance (I say interpretive because I have no idea how to country line dance), I sang “Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jo-leee-eeenee…” until Matt said, “Okay, Jolene, enough!”  To which I replied, “I’m not Jolene, I’m Dolly.  Got it?”

It was awful fun being the Doll-inator, but just for one night.  She is way too involved to ever consider revisiting as many times as I did the cowgirl…

Sorry Doll…

Thought I’d leave you with a little Dolly P.

Have a listen –> 03 Jolene

Group shot!

Happy Halloween!

Hey!  Wait!  I almost forgot, what are you guys dressing up as for Halloween?!

I Resolve To:

A New Years Resolution in October?  I think yes!  Every year I make a New Years Resolution and I try really, really hard to stick to it.  Just to give you an idea, some of my resolutions in the past have been: to go back to school and finish my degree, stop drinking pop (or soda whatever you’d prefer to call it.  I’m from Michigan, we say pop), start exercising regularly, start a blog, and start reading directions (because reading directions is one of the banes to my existence.)

So, this week I got to thinking about what my resolution will be for next year.  Typically l start to come up with an idea a few months in advance, so once New Year Day comes around, I’m not scrambling to come up with something on the fly.

Care to fill in the blank?

As ideas started coming to me, I couldn’t help but think~ Why do we wait until January to make these resolutions?  Why not start now?!

I had never thought of it that way before.  I’m sure by January 1st I will have come up with other ideas as well, but for now, these are the resolutions I am going to start today…or maybe tomorrow, because some of these are really hard.

5.)  Limit writing posts on Facebook to once a week, and keep them benign.  Also, sign onto Facebook once every few days, and nothing more than that.

Well, I have learned over the past few years through my tumultuous relationship with Facebook that no matter what you write, someone has an opinion, unless it’s something really harmless like, “Hooray!  I’m getting married today!!”  Then, what can someone say?  There is no leeway for it to get personal.  I vow to stop writing anything on Facebook that could be misconstrued in any way, shape, or form, today!  No matter how meaningless I think what I’m writing is, if there is any part of me that has hesitation about it, then it doesn’t go up.  Period.

Also, get off Facebook already!  God, what is my problem?  I am always saying how annoying Facebook is and blah, blah, blah, yet I continue to go on every day.  Not anymore.  I will not go on Facebook more that once every few days, as to avoid the Facebook burn out.

Wow, I feel better already!  Don’t you?

4.)  Quit being so hard on myself.

I am by far my toughest critic.

For example~  “Why did I get a B?  I could have gotten an A.”


“If I don’t make the Deans List again this semester, than that means I suck at school.”

Or the one I am famous for lately…

“I’m getting a wrinkle on my forehead,  why the h isn’t this wrinkle cream working?” <-Said with great despair.

Why would any normal human being think these things?  I hear myself saying them, but it doesn’t register that they’re irrational.  I mean, now that I’m writing it down I can see it, but why when I am in the moment do I not understand that?  Whatever the reason, it’s clear I have to stop the destruction now.

3.)  Stop cutting my hair.

This picture is giving me anxiety...Yikes.

You all remember what happened the last time I cut my hair, right?  Somehow every time I do it, I seem to think the result is going to be different.  Isn’t that the definition of insanity?  However, the next time I go to reach for the scissors, I will get an imaginary slap on the wrist.

That’s it, no more cutting my own hair, and that means bangs, too, missy!  You got that?

2.)  Stop trying to map out the future.

I’ve noticed that I am always thinking ahead.  I am always planning for a worst case scenario, or looking into the future for what it might hold.  Most of the time this makes me feel like I am going bonkers.  I vow to start taking a breather and just living in the moment more, instead of planning for what’s coming next.

Now for the last one, also known as the most important one…

1.)  Start seeing the glass half full.

Half full or half empty? You decide.

Well, this is going to be a tough one.  In fact, I’m not entirely positive that I can actually stick with it.  I know it sounds a bit cynical to admit to being a “glass half empty” person, but I don’t look at it that way.  The way I see it, is that I am realistic.  Matt is the dreamer, and I am the voice of reason usually.  However, I admire his outlook on life.  He is a very positive person, and he is not afraid of his dreams.  He’s also not afraid of failing.  How many people can really say that they’re not afraid of failing?  Yeah, Matt’s pretty awesome.  That’s why I married him.

Anyway, I heard a Steve Jobs quote right after he passed away, and to me, it pretty much summed up Matt.  The quote was, “Stay hungry, stay foolish.”  I’ve decided I want to be more like that, foolish, because although being realistic can protect you from disappointment, it doesn’t enable you to take the kinds of risks that pay off big time.

So, what are some of your New Year’s Resolutions?

~The End…

Would You Rather…Part Deux

Would You Rather…

Be smart and ugly?


Or dumb and hot?

Kendra says some pretty boneheaded things, although her hubby claims she is actually very smart...Not sure if I concur.

Would You Rather…

Be too short?

Danny Devito is said to be about 5 feet tall, but I think he is more like 4'9".

Or too tall?

At least your theme song could be "Brick House." So, there's that...

Would You Rather…

Be able to see the future?

Just think you could know how everything is going to turn out before anybody else...

Or have more money than you could ever spend in a lifetime?

Not sure if he's in that status, but you get the point...

Would You Rather…

Be imprisoned in a foreign country for three years?

Oh Foxy Knoxy, what did you get yourself into...

Or have every one of your teeth pulled while your conscious?

You could always get falsies...

Would You Rather…

Watch an episode of True Blood with your parents, where Bill and Sookie (or Eric and Sookie) get down in the dirt?

Can you imagine how awkward that would be? Eeew!...Just think happy thoughts...happy thoughts...

Or accidentally witness your dad slipping your mom the tongue?


Would You Rather…

Have your life depend on running the full 26 miles of the New York City Marathon, or be killed?

Ooooooh, I don't know...

Or take the Bar exam (without any previous knowledge or schooling) and have to pass, or be killed?

Yikes. I don't know which is worse...

Would You Rather…

Get caught singing at the top of your lungs in the mirror by a loved one?

"You make me feel like a natuuuuurrrrallll womannnnn..."

Or have a stranger open the door to a dressing room while you’re in your underwear?

Well, maybe if you're Heidi Klum you wouldn't care...

Would You Rather…

Make headlines for heroically saving someones life?

But you might have to jump in front of a New York City subway to do so, like the "Subway Hero" did.

Or win a Nobel Peace Prize…

Mother Teresa won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979.


What would you rather?

~The End

The Guy That Says Goodbye To You Is Out Of His Mind

This is one of the sweetest songs I have heard in a very, very long time, and if you haven’t heard it yet, give it a listen.  Please?  I promise you won’t regret it, and it may even touch your soul a little, too.  Maybe?  You never know…

(Just click on this link –>) The Guy That Says Goodbye To You Is Out Of His Mind

The Guy That Says Goodbye To You Is Out Of His Mind

By: Griffin House

You don’t need to change a thing about you babe
I’m telling you
From where I sit, you’re one of a kind
Relationships, I don’t know why, they never work you and they make you cry
But the guy that says goodbye to you is out of his mind
Well I been down and I need your help I’ve been feeling sorry for myself
Don’t hesitate to boost my confidence
I been lost and I need direction, I could use a little love-protection
What do you say, honey, come to my defense?
I’ll stand up for you if it’s what you need and I can take a punch, I don’t mind to bleed
As long as afterwards you feel bad for me
And you give me all of your attention I got deep desire and it needs quenchin’
I think that’s pretty plain for you to see
Hell, enough about me and more about you cause that’d be the gentlemanly thing to do
I hope you like your men sweet and polite
I thought I was done with telling you but I ain’t nearly halfway through
I got a few more things I’d like to say to you tonight
You don’t need to change a thing about you babe
I’m telling you
From where I sit you’re one of a kind
Relationships, I don’t know why, they never work out and they make you cry
But the guy that says goodbye to you is out of his mind
You always did kind of drive me crazy and pissed me off ‘cause I let it faze me
But I never wanted my time with you to end
Now I’m back in town for a day or two and mostly I came back just to see you
I’m leaving now but I don’t want to go
You don’t need to change a thing about you babe
I’m telling you
From where I sit you’re one of a kind
Relationships, I don’t know why, they never work out and they make you cry
But the guy that says goodbye to you is out of his mind

Don’t you sometimes just need to hear that you’re a gem, and that someone would have to be straight up crazy to say goodbye to you?  That’s what I love about this song, it reminds you that someday someone will adore you for everything you are, everything you almost are, and everything you can and will be…(Basically like Dorothy Boyd said in Jerry Maguire.)

So, remember that the guy/girl who says goodbye to you is out of their mind, and that they can go blow.  You’ve got better things to do.

P.S.  I asked Matt to send me the mp3 of this song in an email when he was sitting at his desk studying, and when I opened it, there was the link and an email that said, “From where I sit, you’re one of a kind.”  <–Ummm…Ceeeee-UUUUte, right?

Glad he never said goodbye to me…

P.P.S.  Hope you all liked the song…

~The End.

Remember When…

Remember when…

Britney Spears wearing a sexy school girl outfit in her video Hit Me Baby (One More Time)  was scandalous?

Brit Brit was the talk of the town...

And now this is what we consider scandalous…

Taylor Momsen, who at 16, flashed a crowd at a performance and talked openly in interviews about sex and vibrators. Ummm, WHAT?!

Remember when…

Wearing jeans that practically showed your unmentionables (both front and back) was cool?  <–P.S.  What was that all about?  You couldn’t even sit down without your crack making an appearance, and from the front you had to make sure your you know what wasn’t showing.  Ummm…sounds AWKWARD and uncomfortable now.

From what I remember, the zipper would only be, like, 1 inch long.

Now we’ve graduated to wearing the “mom jeans” (sorry to all the mom’s out there, it’s just an expression) again…

Still not sure how I feel about these...

Remember when…

Brad Pitt seemed sweet and dated Gwenny?  They had matching haircuts/color and everything…

Awww, ain't that sweet?

And when he still seemed sweet and met and married Jen?

C'mon, can we get a collective "Awwwww..." up in this piece already?

And then when he turned into a huge a-hole when he met Angie (as he calls her…Barf) Jolie?

He even recently called his former marriage to Jen, and I quote, "boring and fake." Ummm...Eeew?

Remember when…

Cell phones used to basically be cordless telephones?

This Nokia was the very first phone I had...

And now we’re all high tech and sh*t…

And have the iPhone with all these crazy apps, and can also (GASP!!) go on the interweb?! Fancy pants.

Remember when…

Kennedy was a VJ on MTV?

Didn't she seem so cool at the time?

And Jesse…


And who could forget Carson?

And remember when he was engaged to Tara Reid, and was said to have slept with Britney AND XTina? So outrageous...

Now we have Damien?  I’m so out of the loop I don’t even know who he is…(I totally had to google “MTV Vj’s 2011″)…

Who the h is this dude anyway?

Remember when…

My flip-flop got stuck on the rug in the bathroom when I went to sit down on the toilet, and I totally fell off and skinned by elbow yesterday?

Oh wait, I don’t have a picture of that…<–You’re prob relieved, right?!

And yeah, that really happened…

Remember when…

Everyone was obsessed with Tommy Girl?

So crispy, so fresh...

And Sunflowers?

Oh, nostalgia....

And who could forget CK One?

The original unisex scent...fab.

Now we have…

Gotta love the Burb...


What are some of your “remember when’s?”

~The End…

All photos courtesy of MTV, IMDB, and Perfumania.

The Best Advice I’ve Ever Received…

Are you ready?

Be genuine.  

Or also…just be yourself…be authentic…be real…etc…

These two little words ‘be genuine’ sound so simple, don’t they?  However, I think they are harder to live by.  I think that sometimes in life it’s easier to not be yourself, and to be the person that people want you to be, and not who you truly are.  I think it’s human nature to want harmony, and sometimes the easiest way to get there is to be someone you’re not.  This might come in the form of not speaking up in a situation where your opinion differs from others, e.g. politics, religion, etc., or in relationships of all kinds, both romantic and platonic.  I can honestly say that, I for one, have done this, and have also been a repeat offender of it, too.  At my bridal shower someone put me on the spot and asked me what about this relationship with my husband was different from other relationships I’ve had, and the answer was simple.  I can be myself.  It’s not that I wasn’t myself in other relationships, because I was, but I think that I was an edited version of myself.  I didn’t do it intentionally, but I think I also didn’t really know who I was at the time, either.  After a particularly bad break-up in my mid 20’s, I spent a long time just being alone, and had an opportunity to figure out the things thatenjoyed.  During that time on my own, I realized what the problem was in other relationships; I wasn’t myself completely, and the reality was, I wasn’t dating people who allowed me to be me.  Once I realized that, I decided that in my next relationship I was going to be 100%, without a doubt, completely unbridled, me.

And I was.

And it worked out for me.

Unfortunately it doesn’t work out that way all the time, or it actually does in retrospect.  Sometimes being yourself means the end of a relationship, but I think that’s okay.  In fact, I think its better than okay.  It’s the best thing for you.  The end of a relationship, where you have genuinely been yourself, is a gift because it means that you are no longer wasting your time, and you’re now free to move onto finding the person who will truly appreciate you for who you are.  That’s exactly how it happened for me, and I wouldn’t change a thing.  With my husband I can say whatever I want about anything, and although he might look at me sometimes like I’m crazy, he never judges me.  I don’t have to apologize for who I am, or what I think, and I’m glad I have finally learned how to live by such simple words, and at the same time, have found someone who also allows me to.

I think if you aren’t genuine, it can really bite you in the ‘a for various reasons, some of which I have just discussed…


And when you do, be you. Just do it. <--That's what Nike said.

And that is why, in my opinion, there is no better advice than “be genuine”…

Or is there?…

I thought I’d leave you with a couple of silly zingers that were also in the running for the best advice I’ve ever received.  These quotes are courtesy of my Grandma Barkoff and Matt’s Nana.  Don’t G-ma’s have the best advice, like, ever?!

My Grandma Barkoff:

“Sometimes you gotta eat the sh*t.” <–A simple saying for the times when you have to just suck it up, and deal with the curve balls life throws you.

“People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.”

“What a life without a wife, and here I am without a man.” (She said this both to me when I didn’t have a boyfriend, and about herself after my grandpa passed away.)

“You can’t catch ‘em on the second bounce.” (Basically means that sometimes you don’t have more than one chance, so be mindful with the first.)

Matt’s Nana:

“You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.”

“Pat someone on the back while you’re kicking them in the a** at the same time.” <–Ha!  Classic!

“It’s better to be a silent and thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt.”

And finally, a quote that Matt and I discovered both of our grandmothers told us when we were growing up:

“He who laughs last, laughs best.”

What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?

WWDD (What Would Dolly Do?)…

Previously I have talked about Larry David being my fairy godfather, but one person whom I have only just touched upon in my blog, is also a detrimental and fictitious player in my crazy little world;  Dolly Parton.  I know, I know it’s hard to take her seriously sometimes with those big jugs, but Doll actually has some really profound things to say, and along with Lar, I like to think of Doll as my fairy godmother.  Whenever I’m in a bind I like to call upon the Doll-inator and ask WWDD<–Btdubs, no pun intended on the double D’s…Just sayin…

Didn't Doll use to be a total Betty? No offense Doll, you still totally are...

For some reason, I think Dolly is the bomb.  I think the coolest thing about her, is that she is true to who she is, and she is just real.  Okay, okay so obvi all of her is def not real, but when I say ‘real’ I’m not referring to her massive bajunga’s, I am talking about her heart, soul, character, and disposition.  Dolly has got spunk, and she doesn’t apologize for who she is.  She enjoys lots of make-up, gaudy clothes and jewelry, flaunting her attributes, and telling it like it is.  However, she is still an amazing musical artist, philanthropist, author, actress, and a wife of 45 years to the same man.  Nobody said that an inspirational woman had to fit into a certain mold, and I realize Doll is not your typical role model/fairy godmother, but she is mine, and I heart her always.

I have to admit, I am a little jeal that Miley Cyrus has got Doll for an actual fairy godmother.

Luckyyyyyyyy duck.

Here are some of my fave Dolly quotes:

“Find out who you are and do it on purpose.”

“If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one.”

“We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.”

“My weaknesses have always been food and men – in that order.”

“You’ll never do a whole lot unless you’re brave enough to try.”

“It’s a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I’d be a drag queen.”

“I never let a rhinestone go unturned”

And a classic Dolly quote:

“You’d be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap!”

And just a little somethin’ from Dolly the jokester:

“I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out.”

And I saved my favorite Dolly quote for last…

“The magic is inside you. There ain’t no crystal ball.”

…Spoken like a true fairy godmother…

~The End

Who does that?!?!I Like, seriously, who does that?!!!!!

Do you ever notice that there are certain people who seem to have no shame whatsoever?  This inappropriate behavior can rear its ugly head in many, many forms.  Examples of these kinds of people, might be the person who tells a really inappropriate/obscene joke in front of your g-ma (grandma), or someone who ignores a blind person who needs help crossing the street.  These are the individuals whom you just can’t help but declare…

Who does that?!?!I  Like, seriously, who does that?!!!!!

Lately, I have had a ton of “Who does that?!?!I  Like, seriously, who does that?!!!!!” moments.  I am not even kidding, I have seriously looked over my shoulder a time or two for Ashton Kutcher to jump out of the bushes, and to say, “Dude, you’ve been Punk’d,” or I glance around for anyone who even resembles Borat, to make sure that I’m not being thrust into feature film that I haven’t consented to.  However, much to my chagrin, there are no cameras, no Ashton Kutcher, no Borat, and nothing at all fake about these encounters.  This is just real-life, bat-sh*t crazy bull stuff that is goin’ down in a major way…and also really good material to blog about.  Without further adieu, I bring you…

My top 5:  “Who does that?!?!I  Like, seriously, who does that?!!!!!” Moments Lately…

1.)  I was in line at the grocery store with a cart full of groceries, when a man walked up behind me with one bottle of water and a pack of gum.  He kindly asked me if he could cut in front me because I had a lot, and well, he had a little, and he had a friend waiting outside in a car to pick him up.  I said, “Sure.  No problem,” and I proceeded to let him step in front of me…when all of the sudden, his wife/gf came rolling up with a cart full of twice the amount of groceries that were in my cart, and he let her also step right in front of me!  I made eye contact with him as if to say, “What the h is going on?!”  He was not fazed at all by my dirty look, and he actually smiled and winked at me. <–Ummm eeew?

The bus system on campus, where my husband goes to medical school, was totally out of whack one afternoon.  It was so backed up, that it caused more people to be waiting for a bus, than there was enough room to accommodate.  People were being fairly considerate, letting others step in front of them, who had waited longer, but there was one exception to the rule, as there always is.  After having waited for at least 45 minutes for a bus (that normally comes every 10 minutes), it was finally my turn.  As I stepped forward for my turn to ascend up the bus steps, I was quickly interrupted by a man 3 times my body weight, who proceeded to step on my foot, and basically remove me from his path, so that he could get in front of me and take my turn.  The worst part, is that I actually see this person at the gym every single day and he has no shame whatsoever.  <–Oh no he di-ent.

3.)  Last semester I was in our apartment on campus, and had just gotten out of the shower.  I walked over to the window to shut the blinds, when I noticed a custodial worker, who was just about to sit down right outside my window to enjoy his lunch, and a free peep show (or so he thought.)  Instead of getting up and being embarrassed once he saw me standing there at the window, he actually waved and smiled at me, and proceeded to sit down and open up his brown bag lunch anyway. <—Ummm, WTF?!

4.)  I was in line at Subway getting my uj (usual), when the sandwich artist complimented my head band.  I was surprised, because it was just a stretchy headband that I wear to the gym to keep my bangs back, but I said “Thank you,” to which she proceeded with, “Can I have it?”  So, I laughed (hoping she was joking), and when my uncomfortable laughter subsided, I glanced over at her, but she was not laughing…or smiling…she was just looking at me.  So, I was so uncomfortable that I actually took the head band off and gave it to her…yes, you heard me right.  I gave it to the creepy girl, and she took it…and she put it on, right then and there in front of me, and continued to make my turkey sandwich.<–Ummm, wait.  Did that, like, really just happen?  Why, yes, yes it did.

5.)  I was walking out of a store when a random man and I crossed paths.  As we passed each other, like two ships in the night, he actually yelled out to me loudly, “Hey, why don’t you smile a little?”  I was so dumbfounded as everyone else turned around to see what all the hollering was about, that I was actually at a loss for words.  The thing was, I didn’t think that I wasn’t smiling. <–Umm, seriously dude?  WTH?

Perhaps I should have told him that sometimes Sarah Smiles Awhile…and sometimes not so much…

The End.