One Stack of Sh*t Away From an Episode of Hoarders…

I cannot wait until Matt and I don’t have to live like hoarders anymore.

Let me explain…

Living in Grenada in married student housing is, well, interesting.  It makes a tiny studio apartment living in Manhattan look like a palace compared to this.  Basically we have no oven, only two burners, one teeny tiny table that’s not even big enough for two people to eat on, no counter space whatsoever, a tiny sink that fits about two dishes, thankfully a microwave at the least, and to sum it up, we basically sleep 7 feet away from where we cook.  Ugh.

There is literally no closet space or storage space either, for that matter.  In our bathroom, we don’t even have one shelf, so all of our bathroom stuff is either piled in our closets or on Matt’s desk.  Yeah, we’ve been pretty much living like two college freshman roomies for the past two years.

It’s seriously gotten to a point, where recently I was flipping through television stations (Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, we actually don’t have a TV either <–no room for one, but thankfully we have Slingbox on our computers), and I passed an episode of Hoarders, and it seriously hit a little too close to home.  My forehead began to sweat, and I realized…(hint: read below…)

Seriously.

It’s time to face the music, and come to terms with this fact.  When people come to our apartment for the first time, they usually all say the same thing, which is, “Why do you guys have so much stuff???  You’re living in Grenada, just deal with not having all your normal stuff for a while!”  However, for Matt and I, that is not an option.  <–Insert a Bwaaaahhhaaaahaaaa Bwaaaahaaaaa laugh right here, to personify just how completely ludicrous an option like that is to us.  If you knew us, than you would know that we are two people who some might call “characters,” and we’re also pretty stuck in our ways.  We’re both very particular about the things we like, and we’d rather live like hoarders, than not have all of our favorite stuff.  Yeah, we’re pretty irrational people.

However, I must say, that I’m happy we both prefer to live this way, because if I was the only one like that, then Matt might complain to his friends that he married a crazy hoarder lady, and that would be really bad, don’t ya think?!

On another side note, we are so much alike in other ways, too, that it’s downright scary.  For instance, we both get on what I like to call a “food fixation kick,” which is when we decide we like something, and then that is literally all we eat for about 3-12 months, until one day we eat it, and then we decide that we’re over it.  I’ve never met anyone else who does that besides me in my life!  Let me give you an example of some of my food fixation kicks:  Healthy Choice minestrone soup (lasted about 6 months), Oreo O’s cereal (about 11 months when I was 19), Special K with Red Berries cereal (12 months), Santa Fé Rice and Beans Lean Cuisine (5 months), and generic brand Bran Flakes cereal (5 months).  Matt’s food fixations:  Potato Buds (from what I’m told this lasted about 12 months), Mrs. T’s Potato and Onion Pierogi’s (still going), chocolate chip granola bars (6 months), spinach (still going), and also generic brand Bran Flakes cereal (about 6 months).  I know, I know, we’re kind of a couple of weirdo’s, especially with the generic bran flakes…P.S.  One time we went to the grocery store and bought their entire supply of bran flakes, and everyone looked at us like we were totally nuts.

Okay, so that had absolutely nothing to do with living like hoarders, but it shows how much alike we are, so there.

I just wanted to share one example of our hoarders situation…

See what I mean? P.S. This is my closet organized.

I could show you more, but it might just make you tense.  For example we have to keep some of our non-perishable food in suitcases because we have no room to store it in the cupboards, but you didn’t want to see that, did you?

Luckily, we only have about two more months living here, and then it’s back to the United States, so Matt can take his Step 1 exam and begin his clinical rotations.  I really hope our next apartment has a dishwasher, or at the very least, a big enough sink that I can at least wash a pot in comfortably.  I’m really just looking forward to being back on American soil, because sometimes living here makes me feel as though I’m living on Gilligan’s Island, but without The Skipper, Gilligan, Mr. and Mrs. Howell, and Maryann. <–Did you notice that I left out Ginger and The Professor?  It’s because that’s who Matt and I would be.

Hey Prof...What's shakin'?

Anyway, when we are finally back in the U.S. I am really looking forward to some frozen yogurt, McDonald’s, a Starbucks mocha-coconut frappuccino light w/no whip, a decent mani and pedi, perhaps a shopping spree at Forever 21, and a meal at Rosa Mexicano with double guac.  I haven’t had any of these things in so long, and I kind of feel like I’m losing my marbles.

The good news is that we are flying back to New York Rock City on my freaking birthday, December 10th!  Can you believe it?!  Soon after we’re back, we will start looking for apartments wherever Matt gets placed for clinicals, and I cannot wait for the new and exciting prospects.

But more than anything else, I am looking forward to not living like hoarders anymore.

Hip hip hooray!

~The End

Photos from IMDB and someecards.com

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