So, lately I’ve realized that I’m slowly becoming geriatric. I know, I know, I’m only 28, so how is that possible? Well, it is, and this story is sad, but true (P.S. This has absolutely nothing to do with the song Runaround Sue), but more to do with some very unfortunate realities that at some point we youngin’s have to accept. Now, some of us have to accept this sooner than others (such as moi), but no matter what, everybody has to come to terms with aging sooner or later anyway.
I must disclose, there have been signs for at least a year now that I’m becoming somewhat of a fossil, but up until now, I was in denial. However, after becoming conscious of the fact that I’m doing some very old-timer-esque things, it’s time to come clean, and make a change, and hopefully it will feel so good, make a difference, and feel so right<–like Michael Jackson said.
So, I bring you…
Top 5 Reason’s I’ve Been Acting Old:
Ratings are on a scale from 1-10…1 = not acting that old, and 10 = practically acting like a senior…
In no particular order…
1.) I unintentionally started to use products that my G-ma used to love, (e.g. Ponds cold cream, and ivory soap.) I thought I had discovered some really inexpensive beauty gems, until I told my mom of my new-found beauty regimen, and she reminded me that those were also my grandma’s favorite products. Dang it. Old Fogie Rating Of: 8
2.) I have discovered that I am now lactose intolerant, and now have to drink Lactaid milk, and take Lactaid pills any time I want to consume dairy. I don’t think you really need/want to here about the reasons how I came to this conclusion, so I won’t even go there, because things could get really awkward for all of us. Deal? Since this one is really not my fault or choosing, I give it an Old Fogie Rating Of: 5
3.) Lately I have had a new love for food that doesn’t require any chewing…e.g. soup, and oatmeal<–’Nuff said. Old Fogie Rating Of: 7
4.) I used to absolutely hate the song Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye, mostly because when I was about 17, I was at a wedding and saw a bunch of couples my parents age grinding to it on the dance floor, so I always associated it with middle age booty dancing, and the song has remained timelessly awkward to me ever since….until…I recently heard it while grocery shopping, and had an intense urge to start grooving to the beat myself. I held myself back, and resorted to humming along to it instead…regardless, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Old Fogie Rating Of: 7
5.) When Matt and I were on our honeymoon in Kauai, we spent a lot of time listening to old island music on a local radio station in our rented car. Okay, okay, so that doesn’t exactly constitute as acting old, but the following does. After a week or so of nothing but ukulele’s, we decided to find a radio station that played the Top 40′s…before I proceed, let me just say that it could have merely been that we started off on the wrong foot, because the first song we heard was Akon’s “I Just Had Sex.” All I know is, we took one look at each other, mumbled something to the effect of, “What is this music these days?!” and I think I also remarked that it was “giving me a headache,” (which is so something that my dad used to say when we’d be listening to radio when I was a teenager.) Anyway, we listened to it for about 30 seconds, and flipped the radio right back to the ukulele station. Old Fogie Rating Of: 9
I have other reasons, too, but I think you get the point by now…
I also want to say that along with these ways I’ve been acting old, I have also been feeling kind of old. For example, on my honeymoon I saw a group of girls, who were no older than 21, frolicking along the beach in their bikini’s, with no cellulite, and a beer in one hand. It was obvious that they could still drink those beers, without a fear of gaining a beer gut just yet, and it’s not even as though I like beer (because I actually hate it) but I felt, well…OLD. I tried to remind myself that I’m not old, and that normally in other circumstances, I feel confident with myself…but I couldn’t help it, I still felt old. I wouldn’t trade where I’m at in my life for anything, but sometimes, you can’t help it, you still just feel how you feel, even if it’s irrational.
Anyway, I think I would rather just embrace the fact that I am getting older, than fight it, but I have to remind myself to not lose sight of the fact that I am still only 28 for God’s sake! Everybody gets older. Everybody.
Well, except for maybe..
But sooner or later, even those girls who I saw on my honeymoon? Well, they’re going to get old one day, too.
All photos courtesy of Barbie inc., and Anne Taintor.