Words With Trends.

***WARNING*** 

This post is a rant.

I have a confession.  Sometimes I get really, really annoyed with my generation.  I don’t mean to be a traitor or anything, but I can’t help myself.  In my daily life, as well as the internet on sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest, I see the same trendy fads and phrases popping up nearly everywhere.  It’s like one day they’re not there, and then POOF, they’re EVERYWHERE.

So, I have to get this off of my chest…

I bring you…

My Top 5 Most Loathed Words With Trends:

1. Swag

As in, “He’s got killer swag.”

Oh, “swag”, I loathe you most of all.

Swag, swag, swag…Before ‘swag’ I never knew that I was capable of loathing a word so much.  I don’t know what it means, and to be honest with you, I really don’t care.  All that I really know is that I cringe every time someone uses it in reference to a virtue, and if I never heard the word muttered from any other human beings lips for the rest of my life, I would be a very happy girl.

2. Fingerstaches

Can we stop this? Please?

Can we talk about fingerstaches for a second?  I’d honestly like to know why, when, and where this mustache fetish started?  Not only is the term for this horrendous trend ridiculous, but I find the whole “let me hold up my finger with a fake mustache drawn on it” really sort of dumb.  I have actually seen people with a tattoo of this absurd fad, and I can’t help but think, “C’mon, seriously?!”  I mean, I get it, it was funny for about two seconds…wait, no it wasn’t.  It was never funny.  Ever.  So, can we all resolve to stop this mayhem?

3. Awesome Sauce

As in, “Dinner was totally awesome sauce!”

I’m cringing just reading this.

Oh…’awesome sauce,’ I really don’t like you.  This is one that didn’t bother me much in the beginning, but then I started hearing it, and then I started hearing it some more, and then I started hearing it so much, in reference to so many people, places, and things, that it made me want to rip my hair out.  Why can’t something just simply be awesome?  Try it.  It feels good to say something is just plain awesome.  It’s sincere.  It’s effective.  If I had the choice, I’d never hear ‘awesome sauce’ again, unless of course, it was in reference to a sauce that was actually awesome, like Frank’s RedHot, then it would be entirely acceptable.

4. Adorkable

As in, “She’s so super adorkable.”

The gal who inspired the craze.

I admire Zooey Deschanel.  She’s quirky, whimsical, and she’s also really, really smart.  She has marketed herself as the cute-dress wearing, 60’s inspired, unique actress who stars in the coolest independent films.  Plus, she has really great bangs, but that’s not the point.  The fact is, there is no other actress out there like her, and she did a great job at setting herself apart.  Genius.  You want to know what’s not genius?  The dumb stigma that someone labeled her with- “Adorkable.”  Yes, she is adorable, and she might even be a bit of a dork in her free time, but can we just call her what she really is?  A very smart business woman.

5. (Insert adjective and select a gender here) problems.

As in, “Being too short to see out of the peephole of your front door = Short girl problems.” (By the way, that happened to me.)

I blame you, Jersey Shore.

So, it all started with Jersey Shore, as most annoying sayings do.  Pauly D referred to Snookie and Co. as having “meatball problems” when bad fortune started to come their way.  That was it.  A mania was born.  Suddenly you couldn’t go on Facebook without someone lamenting about their, “short girl problems,” or “tall guy problems,” or “nerd girl problems,” and so on and so forth.  Everyone wanted in on the action, and it became, well, exhausting.  So, I have to ask, can we just keep all of our whatever guy/girl problems to ourselves?  Please?

~The End.

Pictures by Ghettoredhot, Pinterest, shortgirlprbs.tumblr.com

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Say Hello To My Little Friend…

Well, many of you told me that I was crazy and I have to admit, I sort of knew you were right.  A few months ago I wrote a post called Six Things I Might Never Understand and it got a lot of traffic.  On one day alone I had over 4,000 views, and every one of those readers heard about how much I disliked phone games, and how I don’t understand how anyone else can like them either.  I went as far as to give examples, Angry Birds, Words With Friends, etc., and almost every one of you told me how I was missing out, but I still wasn’t convinced.

However, something happened between then and now, over the course of four months to be exact.  I fell in love.  I fell in love with a game, but not just any game.  I fell in love with a GASP a phone game.  DrawSomething.

For those of you not familiar with DrawSomething, essentially it is a modern-day Pictionary where you draw on an iPad or phone screen with your finger.  You can play it with your Facebook friends, or if no one you know in the real world is around, you can play a complete stranger somewhere out in the internet universe.

My interest in DrawSomething started out innocently enough.  I played a few times on Matt’s iPad and I enjoyed it.  My pictures were simple, and I didn’t put much thought into them.  However, something happened.  Friends started finding me on DrawSomething and initiating games.  You could say my obsession with the game sneaked up on me without me even realizing it, because pretty soon I was playing regularly.  Little by little my pictures became more intricate.  I would sometimes spend twenty minutes on a single game, creating a masterpiece.  I purchased more colors other than the standard black, red, yellow, and blue.  I was playing sometimes four to five games a day.  I would wake up thinking about DrawSomething, and without even asking, Matt would simply hand over his iPad to me with a knowing glance.  I wouldn’t go to bed without checking to see if any of my opponents had drawn me a picture back.  Soon I had to face it, I was involved in a full-blown relationship with DrawSomething.

I felt like such a fraud.  Hadn’t I claimed to thousands of readers that I hated phone games?  I rationalized my fixation, saying that technically it wasn’t a phone game, for me anyway, because I was playing it on an iPad.  After a while I knew I had to face the truth, and more importantly face my readers.  I had to tell you all that I have converted to the other side where people like phone games.  I don’t know if DrawSomething is an exception to my rule, or if there will ever be another phone game that I like as much.  Either way, let me go on the record as saying that I like DrawSomething.  I like it a lot.

Here are some of my highlights:

Bonjovi

Scarface

Pinecone

Hamburger, fries, and Coke.

Skeleton

Does anyone else love DrawSomething as much as I do?

~The End.

What I Really Want Most in Life Right Now…

Is for…Halle Berry to finally get a new haircut.

C'mon Hal, how long have you been rocking this look for now?

You know the old saying, ‘If it ain’t broke don’t fix it?’ Well, if I had to guess, I’d say Halle is probably living by that mantra.  I kind of agree with it too, but not in this case.  Halle has a beautiful face and could clearly rock a variety of styles, so why not mix it up every now and then, Hal?  You’ve been wearing the same haircut since Clinton was in office.  I think it’s time to try a little somethin’ somethin’ new.  What do you say?

Is for…The women on The Bachelor to stop crying over Ben or any other “bachelor” for that matter.

Poor, poor Kacie B...whatchu gonna do? Cry over Ben? C'mon girl, get it together!

I’m not even sure I should get started on this subject, because you won’t be able to shut me up.  I’ll try to keep it simple:  Why do these women season after season weep over these lame-o Bachelors?  If you put it into perspective, the whole filming process of The Bachelor is about eight weeks long.  These women barely even know the guys that they’re bawling their eyes out over!  Yet season after season, they carry on as if this bachelor is the last man on earth.  Go figure.

While I’m on The Bachelor subject…

What I also really want most in life right now is for Courtney from The Bachelor to get some payback.  Like, big time payback.

Ugh.

Be careful, Ben, this one is a handful.  She has been nothing but mean-spirited, manipulative, and sinister during this entire season of The Bachelor.  Holy cow, she is probably the meanest woman to ever step foot on The Bachelor, and that is saying a lot, because there have been some doozies!  I think the worst part of all, is that there have been rumors swirling around that she is the one to snag Ben in the end, and GASP, gets proposed to.  Ugh, the nerve of this wench.  If that’s true, which I hope it’s not, one can only hope karma is a real thing, and that it eventually comes back to bite her in her skinny dipping a.

Is to…Finally accept that I basically had a Toddlers in Tiaras childhood.

Yes, this is me.

As some of you already know I have a special place in my heart for Mackenzie from Toddlers in Tiaras, and now you all know why.  Now in my defense, I may be wearing a massive crown and a fur coat, but I hope you notice that there is not a stitch of make-up on my face.  I’d also like to add that I strictly competed in the talent part of the contest, which usually consisted of me singing a song and doing a little tap dance.  I never did that weird thing that the kids do nowadays where they make sexy faces and “eye contact” with the judges.  It was different in the 80’s…Do you all notice a trend here, though?  What I really want most in life right now is to accept my toddlers in tiaras childhood, but as you can see, I’m not quite there yet!

Is to…Start wearing heels again before I am old enough to break a hip from doing so.

I will wear heels again...I will wear heels again...I will wear heels again...

Living in Grenada for two years in flip-flops really did a number on my feet, but if I’m honest, I hadn’t worn heels for a good year or two before that anyhow.  Being such a short little lady (only 5’2″), I should really be rocking some cute heels every now and then, but I don’t.  Ever.  You would think I would be forced to get my feet into some heels now that I’m back in New York, but instead I have graduated to Ugg boots this winter, which are basically the equivalent to flip-flops.  Ugg boots are a great way to cheat wearing real shoes, because they are practically like wearing slippers.  I have got to start wearing heels before I really am old enough to break a hip.  Plus, I have no excuse.  My Grandma Barkoff literally wore four-inch wedges until the day she died, which was at 88!  Would you believe me if I told that I never once saw my grandma stand up without her heels on?  Well, believe it, because my grandma never let anyone see her without her heels!  She even put them on with her robe and pajamas in the morning!  Yeah, I know, that’s awesome, right?

Is to…Be just like Liza Minnelli when I grow up, minus all the drug and alcohol problems.

Icon.

This could actually fall under “What I really want most in life always,” because there is seriously no one else on earth that I would want to switch singing and dancing abilities with.  Who is better than Liza?  I can answer that.  No one.  She is the greatest there is, ever was, and ever will be.

~The End.

Photos by stylebistro.com, wetpaint.com, okhereisthesituation.com, pinterest, collegelifestyles.org, cyanyde.tumblr.com

Stories from the Out Crowd

I pride myself as being someone who marches to the beat of their own drum.  Even as a teenager when so much of your life revolves around what your friends are doing, wearing, or who you surround yourself with, I never really cared much about any of it.

I didn’t go to a regular college, I attended a musical theater conservatory for two years right out of high school, where there were lots of eccentrically awesome theater people, but no fraternities or sororities, and no clubs.  If I had gone to a university, though, I guarantee I would have never joined a sorority.  I have absolutely nothing against them, I think that they can be a great way to meet new people, but I guess I’ve always preferred to do my own thing independently.  On a side note, Legally Blonde always made me want to be part of a sorority…but that’s a different story for a different day.

These girl might make me change my mind about joining a sorority...

It’s been fun always being so independent, but what happens when a self-proclaimed non-joiner tries to, well, join something?

About six months ago I found this blog called HelloGiggles.  It’s this quirky blog, that takes all kinds of different blogs from women and puts them on their site.  The first time I laid eyes on it, I thought I had found some sort of mecca for other girls so similar to me.  It was filled with cute little stories about their collective love for Sweet Valley High books, Judy Blume, and all things Molly Ringwald.  As I looked through the hundreds of posts, I couldn’t believe how much I had in common with these girls.

When I saw the link that said “Contribute To Our Blog,” I got so excited.  I immediately filled out the little form where you can submit three of your posts, tried to think of something witty to say for the “about me” section, and gushed to them how obsessed I was with their blog.  I told them how much I loved Sweet Valley High, and how I tried to form my own “Babysitter’s Club” when I as younger, too.  I sent it in, and immediately got an automated response back that said my submission would be reviewed, and I’d hear back from someone in two weeks.  I patiently waited for two weeks, but after fourteen days…I heard nothing.  There was no formal rejection, and no response saying they wanted to use one of my posts either.  After three weeks had passed, I decided to fill out another form with three different blogs, but again two weeks went by, and nothing.  So, I did it a third, and a fourth, and a fifth…and there was nothing but crickets.

I was disappointed.  I asked myself, “What did I do wrong?  Did they not like my posts?  Didn’t they like me?”  I was so sure they were going to love it, at least one of them…how could I be so wrong?  It was then that I grasped what it must feel like for girls who pledge a sorority, thinking you have found a group of girls where you perfectly fit in, only to not be selected and left wondering why.

The bigger question was why did I care so much?  It wasn’t like me to care about something like this at all.  I think it was because when I finally decided I wanted to be a part of something, I couldn’t.  I hadn’t anticipated that.

It took me back to high school, college, different places I’ve worked, auditions I haven’t landed, and made me remember situations I hadn’t thought about in years where I felt left out.  Had my fiercely independent attitude been nothing more than a defense mechanism all along?

I really can’t be sure, but all I know is, I’ve learned something from this situation.  Sometimes people are going to like you, and sometimes they won’t.  Sometimes everything fits right into place the way you expect it to, and sometimes it doesn’t.  All you can be is you, and nothing more.

It’s kind of like what Dr. Seuss said…

“Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.”

Sometimes just being you is all you can be, and that’s enough.

~The End

Photos by alphalogistics.us, xfinity.comcast.net, imdb, safenetwork.org

50/50

So, I’ve never written a movie review on here, have I?

I guess I haven’t felt inclined to, since I haven’t seen many good flicks lately…that is until now.  I’ve just got to spread the word about this movie, because it touched me so much and I seriously cannot stop talking about it.

50/50

I know what you’re thinking, which is probably, “Wait, are you talking about that cancer movie with Seth Rogen…That one?

Yes, the one with Seth Rogen.  I know, I’m a little surprised about it, too.

I blame poor advertisement for this film, because the trailer kind of makes it looks like a stupid/funny movie about cancer.  Let’s face it, cancer is not funny, so any movie portraying it that way, is probably going to be a flop.

However, that is not at all what this movie is about, so to represent it that way is a travesty, because it is anything but that.

Yes, this movie made me laugh hysterically, but it made me cry, too.  Best of all, though, it did that thing that every good movie should do, which is stay with you afterward.  That is what this film did for me.  Majorly.

Yeah, it was that good.

The movie is inspired by a true story, about a 20-something year old named Adam (played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt) who is diagnosed with a rare cancer.  His best friend Kyle (played by Seth Rogen) is one of his biggest supporters in his journey fighting cancer, along with his mother (played by Anjelica Huston), and his social worker and counselor (played by Anna Kendrick).

This movie is a humorous, yet poignant take on facing cancer, and how relationships with the most important people around you evolve and change, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse.  Through Adam, the complexities and simplicities of life are explored, along with the unexpected reality of his own mortality at 28.

This film might even make you question how you see the world.  I know for me, it did.

I’ll be surprised if Joseph Gordon-Levitt doesn’t get an Oscar nomination for his heartbreaking portrayal of Adam.  Seth Rogen might even get a nod as best supporting actor, and finally break him out of the box of “just another dumb comedy actor.”  The guy has got heart, it just hasn’t been seen until now.  Lastly, Anjelica Huston, as an over-protective and heart-broken mother, might even score an Oscar nomination for best supporting actress, too.

50/50 is authentic, hilarious, devastating, dynamic, thought-provoking, and meaningful.

So…

What are you waiting for?

Go see it!

Photo by IMDB

The Class of 2011 Most Over-Exposed Celebrity Superlatives

Can we talk about all the overexposed reality stars and celebrities for a minute?

Before I go any further, I would just like to say that almost all the people I’m about to call out, I have once been a fan of.  However, somehow or some way, they or their PR people ran rampant with their fame, and now every time I see them I cannot help but let out a huge groan saying, “Please, for the love, just go away for a while!  Please?”

What I’m wondering is why aren’t their agents, managers, public relations teams, families, friends, etc., giving them good advice and telling them to lay low for a little while?  Seriously, why is nobody doing that?!

With that, I bring you…

The Class of 2011 Most Over-Exposed Celebrity Superlatives:

Biggest Train-Wreck

Christina Aguilera

Duuuuuude, what happened to you?

Remember when X-Tina used to be a classy little babe?  Okay, so maybe she was never really “classy” per se, but she definitely used to take better care of herself.  Now, every time we hear about her, it’s either because she is wasted, flubbing the lyrics to the national anthem, or just acting like a train-wreck in general.  X-Tina, I think it might be time for an intervention…What do ya say?

Biggest Fraud

Miley Cyrus

Would Micky Mouse approve of this get-up?

I’m not going to be too hard on Miley, she’s young and maybe she’s just finding herself, but at the same time, when did she go from being a Disney darling to…well…what she is now?  Maybe it was all the private vaca’s with her boyfriends when she was 16, or maybe her parents gave her too much freedom?  Whatever the reason, Miley is way out of control, and she needs someone to bring her back to reality, or else her career is headed for La-Lohan ville.  C’mon Miley get it together, and take a break from the limelight for a minute, okay?

Most Dysfunctional Family

The Kardashian’s

I have no words for this caption.

I must confess, I really was a fan of the Kardashian’s for a long time, but somewhere between Kim’s 72 day marriage and Rob’s stint on Dancing With The Stars, I had an intense urge to scream every time I saw one (or all of them) on the tele.  Sure the show is funny…sometimes, but you can’t deny that they are quite dysfunctional.  Kourtney, Khloe, and Kim all talk openly and vulgarly about sex in front of their two young sisters, and overall, they are just inappropriate in every way, shape, and form.  The thing is, the Kardashian’s  have taken over the world, and here’s the kicker, none of them are talented!  For anything!  Wait, why are they famous again?  It’s time to leave America alone for a little while, Kardashian’s.  Please say you’ll give us a breather?  Maybe then we’ll miss you.  Maybe.

Biggest Loser

Ashton Kutcher

Ugh.

C’mon dude, really?  Why’d you have to play Demi like that?  Didn’t we all saw it coming though?  I don’t know about you, but I always felt like he was kind of using Demi for her fame.  He openly cheated on her multiple times, and after the second time, he didn’t even try to hide it.  It poses the question, was he trying to get caught, so Demi would have to be the one to pull the plug on the marriage?  Way to break up with her like a 7th grader, Ashton…Ugh, go away.

Biggest “I Want to Like You, But You’re Really Annoying Me Lately”

Taylor Swift

Dear Taylor, Please stop making this face. Thank you.

I want to like you, Taylor Swift, I really do.  You seem really sweet, and like a genuinely nice person, but you’re really annoying me.  Has anyone else wondered what Taylor Swift is so freaking surprised by?  First of all, she wins EVERYTHING!  She’s on the CMT awards sweeping it, the MTV awards winning everything, the Grammy’s taking home the most awards…so what the h is she so shocked by?  She would annoy me less if she just went up there to accept an award and said, “Wow, so I totally knew I was probably gonna win this, because let’s face it, I win everything and I’m awesome.”

Biggest Man-Eater

Jennifer Lopez

The ink isn't even dry on her divorce papers.

J-Lo hasn’t changed a bit in the 11 or 12 years she has been in the limelight.  She has always been the girl who jumps from one relationship to the next.  The ink isn’t even dried yet on her divorce papers to Marc Anthony, and she is already vacationing with a 24-year-old dancer.  I’m not sure if J-Lo doesn’t like to be alone, or if she just enjoys life more in a relationship, but either way, that’s her business and to each their own.  All I’m saying is, it’s okay if she doesn’t need a breather in between relationships, but America might need one, before we see her gallivanting with yet another lover.

Most Untalented Duo

Jessica and Ashlee Simpson

Why are these two famous again?

So, first came Jessica…she was cute and bubbly with an amazing voice circa 2000-2002, but then something happened.  She got bad advice, and started over-singing and making really disturbing faces while doing so.  A few years later, Ashlee rode on Jess’s coattails and came onto the scene.  Sure her reality show was entertaining for a minute, and her music was even kind of enjoyable, too.  However, both of their star power petered out by 2006-2007, but somehow they still remain in the celebrity news.  Why?  Neither one makes music anymore, and they’re not really doing anything worth reporting.  It might be time for the Simpson sister’s to retire.  Somehow I think Joe Simpson would have a problem with that, though…

Biggest Disaster/Most In Denial

Lindsay Lohan

Really Lindsay, no one told you painting F*** U on your nails for court appearance was a bad idea?

Lindsay Lohan…what is there left to even say that hasn’t already been said?  She is a disaster.  I feel bad for her in a way, because it doesn’t seem like she has anyone in her camp (including her mother) giving her good advice.  Instead, she only has people  enabling her bad behaviors, and re-enforcing her ridiculous antics.  Sadly, jail time wasn’t even a wake up call for this lost soul.  I don’t know what the future holds for La-Lohan, but my gut feeling tells me it’s not anything good.

So, tell me…

Who do you think is the most over-exposed in 2011?

~The End.

Photos by TMZ, People.com, usmagazine.com, and IMDB.

No Soup For You.

You guys are never going to believe what just happened to me.

Before I get into it, does anyone remember this guy?

You know the "Soup Nazi" who tormented Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer on Seinfeld?

I only ask, because I basically just had an Elaine moment. <–P.S.  I said Elaine, because she was the only girl in the group, and I really like her hair…but not when she wears it half up and half down…never mind.

Anyway, my latest food fixation is Subway.  It’s not really a new discovered food craving per se, but more of a rediscovery.  Every night for the past week and a half, I have been making my way down the little hill from where our apartment is, and to the Subway on campus.  Yes, it’s the same Subway where I gave the infamous girl my headband.  If you don’t remember, perhaps you might want to refresh your memory and read Who does that?!?!!  Like, seriously who does that?!!!

So, Subway and I have been having quite a love affair, and it’s been presenting itself in the form of a footlong turkey on wheat, with lettuce, tomato, lots of cucumbers, and vinegar (hold the oil.)  I’ve had a nice little routine going; I get a footlong, and eat half for dinner, and the other half for lunch the next day.

I’m not going to say my experience at Subway is always easy, because it’s not.  I’m even going to go as far as to say, that to get that footlong sub, it’s a labor of love.  In fact, I usually have to put up with quite the debacle, before finally sinking my teeth into my delicious sub.  For example, on average, I usually end up waiting in line for at least 20-25 minutes (even if there are only 2 or 3 people in front of me).  So, now do you get the point?

Tonight, I went to Subway for the 15 consecutive day in a row, but it was not like the normal fiasco’s that I have become so familiar with.  This time it was different…and not in a good way.

Here is the part where I will give you a blow by blow of how it all went down.

Me:  Hi, how are you?

Just like Elaine, I nonchalantly ordered my sandwich.

1st Sandwich Artist:  (Looks at me and rolls her eyes.)

Me:  Can I please have a footlong turkey on wheat?

1st Sandwich Artist:  (Rolls her eyes again.)  She then pulls out an extremely burnt piece of bread from a cooling rack behind her, and proceeds to try and cut it.  However, it’s so burnt, that the bread has become rubbery, and the knife gets stuck.

Now let me just interject a little something here.  For some reason I always get the burnt bread.  Always.  It never fails, I’ll look at the person in front of me and behind me, and they always have these perfectly baked golden subs, and mine is always crusty and burnt.  The thing is, I never ever say anything, because I don’t want to be a pain, but today I was just over the burnt bread.  So, I said something…

Me:  Excuse me, I don’t mean to be a pain, but can I get a different piece of bread that is not so dark?

1st Sandwich Artist:  That’s all we have.

Lie, lies, lies.  I looked at a cooling rack directly behind her, and there were at least 50 different subs that were not burnt.

Me:  Okay.

I was annoyed, but what can you do? 

My sub then got moved onto the part where you get veggies, leaving me with no chance to protest, even if I wanted to.

1st Sandwich Artist:  What do you want?

Me:  Can I please have lots of lettuce, tomato, and lots of cucumbers please?

She then proceeded to stingily put some lettuce on the sub, but it didn’t even cover the entire footlong.  I reasoned, maybe she thought I said a little lettuce and not a lot?

Me:  I’m sorry but could I have a little more lettuce?

She totally ignored me, and proceeded to slop on two tomato’s that were rotten looking and yellowy, and put on three tiny pieces of cucumber. 

Umm…wait a sec, didn’t I ask for extra lettuce and cucumbers?  What is wrong with this picture?!  I look at my sad footlong sub staring through the glass at me, and I knew I had to fight for my sub.

Me:  I’m sorry, but can I please have more cucumbers?  (I didn’t even bother with the lettuce or tomato’s.)

1st Sandwich Artist:  She rolled her eyes at me again, and proceeded to pick out the tiniest cucumber, putting ONE more on.

I felt my blood starting to boil, but I kept telling myself, “It’s just a sandwich.  Chill out.”  But no, I couldn’t chill out.  

I watched as she pushed the sandwich onto the 2nd Sandwich Artist for the dressing, and whispered something in her ear, though I didn’t know what.

I ignored them, and focused my attention on the 2nd Sandwich Artist.

Me:  Excuse me, can I have some more cucumbers?  (Notice I was no longer saying please.)

2nd Sandwich Artist:  No.

Me:  No?

I'm fairly certain I also made this face...

2nd Sandwich Artist:  No.

Now I know how Elaine felt.

Me:  Why?

2nd Sandwich Artist:  Because she (meaning 1st Sandwich Artist) already gave you extra.

Me:  But she didn’t give me extra, she didn’t even put enough on to cover the whole sandwich to begin with.

2nd Sandwich Artist:  No.

Me:  What are you even saying “no” to?

Random guy behind me starts chuckling.

2nd Sandwich Artist: No.

Me: Okay well, I’ll pay for extra cucumbers….

On a side note, I know for a fact there is an option on their cash register to pay for extra veggies, because just the other day I got charged $1.50 extra for  jalapeno’s.

2nd Sandwich Artist: No.

Me:  Okay, so let me get this straight…I can’t have extra cucumbers on my sandwich, and I can’t buy them either?  I’m sorry, I’m just a little confused here.  Why?

2nd Sandwich Artist:  Because she already gave you extra.

1st Sandwich Artist and 2nd Sandwich Artist look at each other and roll their eyes.

That was it.  The last duo eye roll did me in.

I saw red.

Me:  You’re rude (I looked at 1st Sandwich Artist), and you’re rude ( I looked at 2nd Sandwich Artist), and I don’t want your sh*tty sandwich.

And that was that.  I walked out without my sandwich, and I didn’t even care, because I walked out in a freaking blaze of glory.  The guy standing behind me applauded me.  No  really, he actually clapped for me.  The whole thing was ludicrous.  I forgot to mention, it was the end of the night, don’t they usually just throw the uneaten veggies away at the end of the night anyway?!  It was clear that they were just trying to be rude, and it worked.

By the time I got home the adrenaline had worn off, and I was actually kind of bothered about the whole thing.  I’m not going to lie, I was mostly sad that I could never show my face in my favorite Subway again, and I was sad that my love affair with my footlong turkey subs on wheat, had come to a crashing halt.  I was also a little disappointed about how I was treated.

Oh well.

At least I went out Terminator style.

Oh Yeaaaaaaaahhhhhh

~The End.

Photos by IMDB