Long Time, No Read…

Is anybody out there? …

I repeat…is anybody out there?

Bueller?

Bueller?

Ha.  It’s been a long, long while, but just wanted to pop in to say heyyyyyyyyyyyyy!  Oh, and to give you the link to an essay I wrote, which was featured on HelloGiggles today.  Hooray!  Very excited about that.

And just so you know, I miss you guys like candy…or candaaaaaaaaay (insert Mandy Moore’s twangy voice.)

I promise I’ll be talking to you soon!

http://hellogiggles.com/ode-long-lost-granny-sweater/#read

xo

Sarah

 

About these ads

20 Ways To Trick People Into Thinking You’re Smart…

Frenchy: Hey, Marty, are those new glasses? Marty: Oh yeah, I just got them for school. Don't you think they make me look smarter? Rizzo: Nah, you can still see your face. down your bra?

Frenchy: Hey, Marty, are those new glasses?
Marty: Oh yeah, I just got them for school. Don’t you think they make me look smarter?
Rizzo: Nah, you can still see your face.

1.  Attend art galleries, and act deeply moved when you’re staring face to face with a giant painting of nothing but a big black dot.

2.  Say ‘palate’ whenever referring to your taste in food.

3.  Wear black framed, non-prescription ‘nerd’ glasses.

4.  Live in Brooklyn.

5.  Repeat ideas smart people have said in your presence and pretend that they’re your own.

6.  Use words like, actually, literally, honestly, and personally, at the start of most sentences.

7.  If you watch any reality television, You. Must. Not. Admit. This. EVER.

8.  Tell people your favorite television shows are Homeland, any HBO show (other than True Blood), Downton Abbey, or Breaking Bad.

9.  If you have nothing intelligent to contribute to Facebook, Twitter, etc., at the very least, use these correctly: there, they’re, their, your, you’re, we’re, were, then, than.

10.  Pretend you’re really up on politics, but only read the headlines.

11. Tell people your favorite movies are foreign films, and then name drop at least three titles.  Extra points if you pronounce them correctly.

12.  Hang out at any coffee shop except Starbucks, and preferably one that sells crappy coffee that costs twice as much as the chains.

13.  Shop at independent bookstores, and scour the historical fiction section (hopefully while wearing your black framed nerd glasses.)

14.  Tell people you studied abroad.

15.  Tell people you’ve read lots of books, and name-drop titles like The Importance of Being Earnest, Ulysses, A Tale of Two Cities, The Odyssey, The Old Man and the Sea, etc.

16.  Talk about Freud and drop at least one of his theories into conversation at a dinner party.

17.  Say you love every Woody Allen movie whenever given the chance.

18.  Use the word ‘juxtaposed’ in a sentence correctly.

19.  Use words like layered, texture, ripe, raw and supple when describing music.  Bonus points if you can use any of those words to describe Bon Iver’s music.

20.  When drinking red wine with friends, first refer to the taste as full-bodied and complex, then once you really have their attention, talk about how you love the hints of oak and cedar wood.

~The End.

Pictures courtesy of IMDB

I Coulda Been A Conten-dah…I Coulda Been Somebody…

I have a confession.  I accidentally discovered that I have a huge celebrity crush last weekend.  Marlon. Brando.  But you know, young Marlon Brando, not the hot mess that he became later in life.

So ridiculously cool, right?

I’m taking a Screenwriting course right now, and every week we have to watch a different film.  Each time I find out the movie we’re watching, I mentally groan, wondering why on earth we have to watch all of these “dumb-dumb movies” as I like to call them.  I guess I signed up for this course thinking we were going to be watching films like “Casablanca” or “Gone With the Wind,” but that hasn’t been the case.  We’ve been watching these sort of peculiar little films, sometimes foreign, black and white films, that I always think are going to be terrible, but then turn out to be unexpectedly awesome.

Anyway, last week we had to watch “On the Waterfront” with Marlon Brando, and again I thought I was going to hate it.  I thought, “Why can’t we watch ‘The Godfather’ or something that I’ve actually heard of with Marlon Brando?”  I was skeptical as I popped the movie into my DVD player, but I have to tell you, within the first three minutes I was awestruck by one of the most iconic actors ever…Mr. Marlon Brando.  I sat there stunned as I watched him completely embody his character.  All I could think was, “That kind of talent cannot be taught.”  He just had that “it” factor, that captivating, special something, that all great actors have.  I couldn’t take my eyes off of him, not because of his good looks (but obviously that, too) but because there is just something so enchanting about him as an actor.

Throughout my life I have heard people quote the famous line, “I could’ve been a contender.  I could’ve been somebody,”  but I never had any idea where this quote came from.  That is, until I suddenly heard it roll right off Brando’s tongue while I was watching “On the Waterfront.”  I couldn’t help myself, I had to watch it one more time, and then another time, and then another.  I must have watched it four or five times.  There was something so sincere about the way he said that line that makes it so identifiable, and might even leave you questioning your own life’s path.

Here’s the scene if you’ve never seen it.

 

After watching “On the Waterfront” I went on a bit of a Brando binge and watched “A Streetcar Named Desire” and swooned over him even more as Stanley.  If you’ve never seen “A Streetcar Named Desire,” trust me, you need it in your life.  Everyone needs to hear Brando scream, “Hey Stelllllllaaaaaaaa!!!” at least once, because well, it’s thrilling.  Trust me.

So tell me, who are your favorite iconic actors?

~The End

Five Odd Things That Regularly Cross My Mind.

1.) What to eat…what to eat…

Exactly.

Usually the first thing that crosses my mind when I wake up is something like, “What time is it?  8.  Okay, time to get up.  What am I going to eat?!??!!”  Yes, the first thing I think about when I wake up is FOOD!  In fact, I’m usually already thinking about it while I brush my teeth for bed the night before.  I’ll be brushing my teeth going, “Coffee? Yes, definitely coffee.  Cereal, maybe?  Oatmeal with bananas or oatmeal with apples and cinnamon?  Egg, perhaps?  Yeah, definitely eggs.  Eggs and coffee for sure tomorrow.”  I know it’s weird, but I’m not alone.  Recently, while turning down the covers before I bed I asked Matt, “Is it strange that right now I’m excited about what I’m going to eat tomorrow morning?”  He looked at me and said, “No, not all.  I always think about what I’m going to eat before I go to bed.”  So I asked, “Well, do you get excited about it, though?”  He considered it for a moment and then simply said, “Yeah.  I do.” C’mon, are we a match made in heaven or what?

2.)  Wait, how old am I again?

Just yesterday I was in a group of people who I thought were around my age, until the subject of age came up, and they all said they were between the ages of twenty-two and twenty-six.  I was like, “Yeah, I’m twenty-four…” and then a big mental whoop-lash came back around smacking into reality, letting me know that I am in fact twenty-nine not twenty-four.  My theory on age is that everyone has their own magic number that they never age passed.  Mine just happens to be twenty-four, but it can technically be anything depending on the person.  Does anyone else ever forget how old they are?

3.)  What will we name our first-born?

Yeah baby, don't worry, you'll get used to it...

So many options, so many options.  Usually this thought is sprung when the latest celebrity has a baby, and gives their child a completely ridiculous name…Apple anyone?  Blue?  <–Sorry Beyonce I heart you, but I don’t heart your first born’s name.  Anyway, it usually prompts me to start coming up with my own random/different names that in my fantasy world I would name our first born…you know the kinds of names that your husband would never go for?  Yeah, those kind.  The daydream always ends the same, with me settling on the names that Matt and I have already discussed fully (which I can’t disclose now), and me usually moving on to pet names instead…

4.)  WWJD (What Would Joan Rivers Do)?

Ever since I watched the Fashion Police episode when Joan blasted Christina Aguilera for wearing that completely wretched shirt she tried to pass off as a dress (awkward), and Joan said, “Looks like Lady Marmalade got into the peanut butter again,” her voice has been haunting me.

No comment.

I hear ya Joan. I hear ya.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I zip up my skinny jeans and I hear Joan in that thick New York accent say, “Oh Sarah, did you get into the peanut butta again?”  And I want to say, “Yes, Joan.  Yes, I did,” because the truth is, I have been getting into the peanut butter lately.  Guilty as charged!  But I listen to my inner Joan and sometimes change my outfit accordingly.

For those of you who have read my blog for some time, you know that I also often ask myself WWDD (What would Dolly Parton Do) for the angel on my right shoulder, and also WWLD (What Would Larry David Do) for the devil on my left shoulder.

5.)  Should I get bangs?  Like, real bangs?  Like bang, bangs?!?!

Kel, it's totally all your fault.


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not to pass the buck here, but I fully blame Kelly Clarkson, and how cute her bangs looked at the Superbowl, for my latest hair mishap.  Yes, I am a hair stylist, yes, I said I was done cutting my own hair, but I lied.  Yes, I lied to each and every one of you and you believed me, but it wasn’t over.  I cut my hair again, giving myself Kelly Clarkson bangs, which were cute in theory, but after a day I hated them (naturally), and decided they didn’t flatter my face…which technically I already knew…because I’ve had bangs numerous times.  Okay, I’m done with that painfully long run-on sentence.  Let’s just say the voice in my head telling me to do it has now been silenced, and I’m resting easy…with bangs.  Oh well.

Enough about me, and more about you…What are the odd things that cross your mind?

~The End.

Photos by http://larryfire.wordpress.com/2009/05/09/the-most-popular-baby-names-of-2008/, HelloGiggles, myfashioncents.com

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas…

I can’t believe it’s already December, and that Christmas and my birthday are right around the corner!

On Saturday, I am getting the best birthday gift of all, which is to fly back to New York…ahem… first class.  Woo-Hoo!  I seriously cannot wait!

It’s crazy to think that today I spent one of my last days in Grenada soaking up some sun, but by Saturday, we’ll be back to the blistering cold again.

Here’s a shot from the beach today…

Grand Anse Beach

And how appropriate that we should return back to a New York winter, considering the first time we arrived in Grenada, we were escaping one of the worst New York winters ever!

January 2010. One of our first days ever in Grenada.

I guess you could say, we are coming full circle.

I’m definitely looking forward to some snow, which I can’t believe I actually just said, but I truly am.  I think what I’m really excited about is just being back in the great U.S. of A, and being with our families for the holiday season.

I have to give it to Grenada, they really do a great job bringing the holiday vibe to the island, despite the uncharacteristically hot, balmy weather.  Since mid October (yes, mid-October) all the workers in the local shops have been sporting red Santa hats, and everywhere you go, they play Christmas music.  Get this, one of the most popular albums they play is Dolly Parton’s “Home For Christmas!”  If that’s not random, I don’t know what is!  Let’s just say, I’m thrilled about it!

Snazzy outfit, Doll.

I have to admit, though, it definitely hasn’t been easy to get into the holiday spirit, even with Dolly on my side.  That is why I cannot wait to soak up all the holiday season has to offer in New York with Matt’s family, and Michigan with my family.

I fully intend on watching some of my favorite holiday flicks like…

1.)  Serendipity

This movie captures the holiday’s in NYC perfectly, complete with a glove war at Bloomingdale’s, and ice skating at Rockefeller Center.

And maybe Matt and I might finally make it into the city for some frozen hot chocolate at  the famous Serendipity 3, where we’ve meant to go since we started dating 4.5 years ago!  We haven’t made it yet, but here’s hoping.

Serendipity 3, where the film Serendipity was shot. P.S. It's right around the corner from Bloomingdale's, too, which could be dangerous...or fantastic!

2.)  Little Women

Don’t make fun!  This is one of my movies ever, mostly because I remind myself of Jo.  By the way, I took a Facebook quiz not too long ago called, “Which March sister are you?”, and I got Meg!  I was seriously so mad, I took it 3 more times, until I manipulated it to tell me I was the most like Jo.  True story.

Oh Marmee...P.S. I think I might have my future children call me Marmee, how cute is that?

3.)  Love Actually

Does anyone remember the scene from this film where Keira Knightly marries her husband, and he surprises her with a gospel choir singing the Beatles tune “All You Need is Love?”

Well, Matt and I thoroughly looked into getting a gospel choir our wedding, but after some in-depth research on YouTube of other people who apparently thought it was a cool idea too, we decided against it.  Let me just say, some things are just better relayed on film than in real life, but I fully intend on reliving that moment watching “Love Actually” this Christmas.

4.)  A Christmas Story

This movie is such a gem.  If you’ve never seen it, I highly recommend it.

“You’re gonna shoot yer eye out!  You’re gonna shoot yer eye out!”

Poor Randy...

5.)  Meet Me in St. Louis

Come on, you knew a theater nerd couldn’t resist a musical to get into the holiday spirit, right?

Wasn't Judy G. a total betty in her day?

I don’t know, there’s just something about the way Judy sang “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” that gets me every time…

Anyway…

Hmmm…other things I’m looking forward to this holiday season…wearing my new down coat, sporting my Uggs with chunky sweaters, getting my huuuurr did, eating lots of cookies (particularly the sugar cookies with frosting that my sis-in-law makes), spending time with family and friends, eating my mom’s stuffed peppers, eating my mother in law’s meatloaf…I’m starting to notice that most of the things I’m looking forward to revolve around food…not done yet, though…drinking hot chocolate with whipped cream, pumpkin spice Coffee-Mate coffee creamer, Starbuck’s chai lattes, the sugar cookies with the Christmas tree’s and bells in the middle, my dad’s egg “mcmuffins”, pizzelle’s, and maybe some banana pancakes (made by Matt hopefully!).

So…

What are you all looking forward to this holiday season?

~The End

Photos by Amazon, IMDB, Wikipedia, and bytesdaily.blogspot.com

50/50

So, I’ve never written a movie review on here, have I?

I guess I haven’t felt inclined to, since I haven’t seen many good flicks lately…that is until now.  I’ve just got to spread the word about this movie, because it touched me so much and I seriously cannot stop talking about it.

50/50

I know what you’re thinking, which is probably, “Wait, are you talking about that cancer movie with Seth Rogen…That one?

Yes, the one with Seth Rogen.  I know, I’m a little surprised about it, too.

I blame poor advertisement for this film, because the trailer kind of makes it looks like a stupid/funny movie about cancer.  Let’s face it, cancer is not funny, so any movie portraying it that way, is probably going to be a flop.

However, that is not at all what this movie is about, so to represent it that way is a travesty, because it is anything but that.

Yes, this movie made me laugh hysterically, but it made me cry, too.  Best of all, though, it did that thing that every good movie should do, which is stay with you afterward.  That is what this film did for me.  Majorly.

Yeah, it was that good.

The movie is inspired by a true story, about a 20-something year old named Adam (played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt) who is diagnosed with a rare cancer.  His best friend Kyle (played by Seth Rogen) is one of his biggest supporters in his journey fighting cancer, along with his mother (played by Anjelica Huston), and his social worker and counselor (played by Anna Kendrick).

This movie is a humorous, yet poignant take on facing cancer, and how relationships with the most important people around you evolve and change, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse.  Through Adam, the complexities and simplicities of life are explored, along with the unexpected reality of his own mortality at 28.

This film might even make you question how you see the world.  I know for me, it did.

I’ll be surprised if Joseph Gordon-Levitt doesn’t get an Oscar nomination for his heartbreaking portrayal of Adam.  Seth Rogen might even get a nod as best supporting actor, and finally break him out of the box of “just another dumb comedy actor.”  The guy has got heart, it just hasn’t been seen until now.  Lastly, Anjelica Huston, as an over-protective and heart-broken mother, might even score an Oscar nomination for best supporting actress, too.

50/50 is authentic, hilarious, devastating, dynamic, thought-provoking, and meaningful.

So…

What are you waiting for?

Go see it!

Photo by IMDB

The Class of 2011 Most Over-Exposed Celebrity Superlatives

Can we talk about all the overexposed reality stars and celebrities for a minute?

Before I go any further, I would just like to say that almost all the people I’m about to call out, I have once been a fan of.  However, somehow or some way, they or their PR people ran rampant with their fame, and now every time I see them I cannot help but let out a huge groan saying, “Please, for the love, just go away for a while!  Please?”

What I’m wondering is why aren’t their agents, managers, public relations teams, families, friends, etc., giving them good advice and telling them to lay low for a little while?  Seriously, why is nobody doing that?!

With that, I bring you…

The Class of 2011 Most Over-Exposed Celebrity Superlatives:

Biggest Train-Wreck

Christina Aguilera

Duuuuuude, what happened to you?

Remember when X-Tina used to be a classy little babe?  Okay, so maybe she was never really “classy” per se, but she definitely used to take better care of herself.  Now, every time we hear about her, it’s either because she is wasted, flubbing the lyrics to the national anthem, or just acting like a train-wreck in general.  X-Tina, I think it might be time for an intervention…What do ya say?

Biggest Fraud

Miley Cyrus

Would Micky Mouse approve of this get-up?

I’m not going to be too hard on Miley, she’s young and maybe she’s just finding herself, but at the same time, when did she go from being a Disney darling to…well…what she is now?  Maybe it was all the private vaca’s with her boyfriends when she was 16, or maybe her parents gave her too much freedom?  Whatever the reason, Miley is way out of control, and she needs someone to bring her back to reality, or else her career is headed for La-Lohan ville.  C’mon Miley get it together, and take a break from the limelight for a minute, okay?

Most Dysfunctional Family

The Kardashian’s

I have no words for this caption.

I must confess, I really was a fan of the Kardashian’s for a long time, but somewhere between Kim’s 72 day marriage and Rob’s stint on Dancing With The Stars, I had an intense urge to scream every time I saw one (or all of them) on the tele.  Sure the show is funny…sometimes, but you can’t deny that they are quite dysfunctional.  Kourtney, Khloe, and Kim all talk openly and vulgarly about sex in front of their two young sisters, and overall, they are just inappropriate in every way, shape, and form.  The thing is, the Kardashian’s  have taken over the world, and here’s the kicker, none of them are talented!  For anything!  Wait, why are they famous again?  It’s time to leave America alone for a little while, Kardashian’s.  Please say you’ll give us a breather?  Maybe then we’ll miss you.  Maybe.

Biggest Loser

Ashton Kutcher

Ugh.

C’mon dude, really?  Why’d you have to play Demi like that?  Didn’t we all saw it coming though?  I don’t know about you, but I always felt like he was kind of using Demi for her fame.  He openly cheated on her multiple times, and after the second time, he didn’t even try to hide it.  It poses the question, was he trying to get caught, so Demi would have to be the one to pull the plug on the marriage?  Way to break up with her like a 7th grader, Ashton…Ugh, go away.

Biggest “I Want to Like You, But You’re Really Annoying Me Lately”

Taylor Swift

Dear Taylor, Please stop making this face. Thank you.

I want to like you, Taylor Swift, I really do.  You seem really sweet, and like a genuinely nice person, but you’re really annoying me.  Has anyone else wondered what Taylor Swift is so freaking surprised by?  First of all, she wins EVERYTHING!  She’s on the CMT awards sweeping it, the MTV awards winning everything, the Grammy’s taking home the most awards…so what the h is she so shocked by?  She would annoy me less if she just went up there to accept an award and said, “Wow, so I totally knew I was probably gonna win this, because let’s face it, I win everything and I’m awesome.”

Biggest Man-Eater

Jennifer Lopez

The ink isn't even dry on her divorce papers.

J-Lo hasn’t changed a bit in the 11 or 12 years she has been in the limelight.  She has always been the girl who jumps from one relationship to the next.  The ink isn’t even dried yet on her divorce papers to Marc Anthony, and she is already vacationing with a 24-year-old dancer.  I’m not sure if J-Lo doesn’t like to be alone, or if she just enjoys life more in a relationship, but either way, that’s her business and to each their own.  All I’m saying is, it’s okay if she doesn’t need a breather in between relationships, but America might need one, before we see her gallivanting with yet another lover.

Most Untalented Duo

Jessica and Ashlee Simpson

Why are these two famous again?

So, first came Jessica…she was cute and bubbly with an amazing voice circa 2000-2002, but then something happened.  She got bad advice, and started over-singing and making really disturbing faces while doing so.  A few years later, Ashlee rode on Jess’s coattails and came onto the scene.  Sure her reality show was entertaining for a minute, and her music was even kind of enjoyable, too.  However, both of their star power petered out by 2006-2007, but somehow they still remain in the celebrity news.  Why?  Neither one makes music anymore, and they’re not really doing anything worth reporting.  It might be time for the Simpson sister’s to retire.  Somehow I think Joe Simpson would have a problem with that, though…

Biggest Disaster/Most In Denial

Lindsay Lohan

Really Lindsay, no one told you painting F*** U on your nails for court appearance was a bad idea?

Lindsay Lohan…what is there left to even say that hasn’t already been said?  She is a disaster.  I feel bad for her in a way, because it doesn’t seem like she has anyone in her camp (including her mother) giving her good advice.  Instead, she only has people  enabling her bad behaviors, and re-enforcing her ridiculous antics.  Sadly, jail time wasn’t even a wake up call for this lost soul.  I don’t know what the future holds for La-Lohan, but my gut feeling tells me it’s not anything good.

So, tell me…

Who do you think is the most over-exposed in 2011?

~The End.

Photos by TMZ, People.com, usmagazine.com, and IMDB.

No Soup For You.

You guys are never going to believe what just happened to me.

Before I get into it, does anyone remember this guy?

You know the "Soup Nazi" who tormented Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer on Seinfeld?

I only ask, because I basically just had an Elaine moment. <–P.S.  I said Elaine, because she was the only girl in the group, and I really like her hair…but not when she wears it half up and half down…never mind.

Anyway, my latest food fixation is Subway.  It’s not really a new discovered food craving per se, but more of a rediscovery.  Every night for the past week and a half, I have been making my way down the little hill from where our apartment is, and to the Subway on campus.  Yes, it’s the same Subway where I gave the infamous girl my headband.  If you don’t remember, perhaps you might want to refresh your memory and read Who does that?!?!!  Like, seriously who does that?!!!

So, Subway and I have been having quite a love affair, and it’s been presenting itself in the form of a footlong turkey on wheat, with lettuce, tomato, lots of cucumbers, and vinegar (hold the oil.)  I’ve had a nice little routine going; I get a footlong, and eat half for dinner, and the other half for lunch the next day.

I’m not going to say my experience at Subway is always easy, because it’s not.  I’m even going to go as far as to say, that to get that footlong sub, it’s a labor of love.  In fact, I usually have to put up with quite the debacle, before finally sinking my teeth into my delicious sub.  For example, on average, I usually end up waiting in line for at least 20-25 minutes (even if there are only 2 or 3 people in front of me).  So, now do you get the point?

Tonight, I went to Subway for the 15 consecutive day in a row, but it was not like the normal fiasco’s that I have become so familiar with.  This time it was different…and not in a good way.

Here is the part where I will give you a blow by blow of how it all went down.

Me:  Hi, how are you?

Just like Elaine, I nonchalantly ordered my sandwich.

1st Sandwich Artist:  (Looks at me and rolls her eyes.)

Me:  Can I please have a footlong turkey on wheat?

1st Sandwich Artist:  (Rolls her eyes again.)  She then pulls out an extremely burnt piece of bread from a cooling rack behind her, and proceeds to try and cut it.  However, it’s so burnt, that the bread has become rubbery, and the knife gets stuck.

Now let me just interject a little something here.  For some reason I always get the burnt bread.  Always.  It never fails, I’ll look at the person in front of me and behind me, and they always have these perfectly baked golden subs, and mine is always crusty and burnt.  The thing is, I never ever say anything, because I don’t want to be a pain, but today I was just over the burnt bread.  So, I said something…

Me:  Excuse me, I don’t mean to be a pain, but can I get a different piece of bread that is not so dark?

1st Sandwich Artist:  That’s all we have.

Lie, lies, lies.  I looked at a cooling rack directly behind her, and there were at least 50 different subs that were not burnt.

Me:  Okay.

I was annoyed, but what can you do? 

My sub then got moved onto the part where you get veggies, leaving me with no chance to protest, even if I wanted to.

1st Sandwich Artist:  What do you want?

Me:  Can I please have lots of lettuce, tomato, and lots of cucumbers please?

She then proceeded to stingily put some lettuce on the sub, but it didn’t even cover the entire footlong.  I reasoned, maybe she thought I said a little lettuce and not a lot?

Me:  I’m sorry but could I have a little more lettuce?

She totally ignored me, and proceeded to slop on two tomato’s that were rotten looking and yellowy, and put on three tiny pieces of cucumber. 

Umm…wait a sec, didn’t I ask for extra lettuce and cucumbers?  What is wrong with this picture?!  I look at my sad footlong sub staring through the glass at me, and I knew I had to fight for my sub.

Me:  I’m sorry, but can I please have more cucumbers?  (I didn’t even bother with the lettuce or tomato’s.)

1st Sandwich Artist:  She rolled her eyes at me again, and proceeded to pick out the tiniest cucumber, putting ONE more on.

I felt my blood starting to boil, but I kept telling myself, “It’s just a sandwich.  Chill out.”  But no, I couldn’t chill out.  

I watched as she pushed the sandwich onto the 2nd Sandwich Artist for the dressing, and whispered something in her ear, though I didn’t know what.

I ignored them, and focused my attention on the 2nd Sandwich Artist.

Me:  Excuse me, can I have some more cucumbers?  (Notice I was no longer saying please.)

2nd Sandwich Artist:  No.

Me:  No?

I'm fairly certain I also made this face...

2nd Sandwich Artist:  No.

Now I know how Elaine felt.

Me:  Why?

2nd Sandwich Artist:  Because she (meaning 1st Sandwich Artist) already gave you extra.

Me:  But she didn’t give me extra, she didn’t even put enough on to cover the whole sandwich to begin with.

2nd Sandwich Artist:  No.

Me:  What are you even saying “no” to?

Random guy behind me starts chuckling.

2nd Sandwich Artist: No.

Me: Okay well, I’ll pay for extra cucumbers….

On a side note, I know for a fact there is an option on their cash register to pay for extra veggies, because just the other day I got charged $1.50 extra for  jalapeno’s.

2nd Sandwich Artist: No.

Me:  Okay, so let me get this straight…I can’t have extra cucumbers on my sandwich, and I can’t buy them either?  I’m sorry, I’m just a little confused here.  Why?

2nd Sandwich Artist:  Because she already gave you extra.

1st Sandwich Artist and 2nd Sandwich Artist look at each other and roll their eyes.

That was it.  The last duo eye roll did me in.

I saw red.

Me:  You’re rude (I looked at 1st Sandwich Artist), and you’re rude ( I looked at 2nd Sandwich Artist), and I don’t want your sh*tty sandwich.

And that was that.  I walked out without my sandwich, and I didn’t even care, because I walked out in a freaking blaze of glory.  The guy standing behind me applauded me.  No  really, he actually clapped for me.  The whole thing was ludicrous.  I forgot to mention, it was the end of the night, don’t they usually just throw the uneaten veggies away at the end of the night anyway?!  It was clear that they were just trying to be rude, and it worked.

By the time I got home the adrenaline had worn off, and I was actually kind of bothered about the whole thing.  I’m not going to lie, I was mostly sad that I could never show my face in my favorite Subway again, and I was sad that my love affair with my footlong turkey subs on wheat, had come to a crashing halt.  I was also a little disappointed about how I was treated.

Oh well.

At least I went out Terminator style.

Oh Yeaaaaaaaahhhhhh

~The End.

Photos by IMDB

Why Miss Piggy and Kermit Are Gonna Make it, and Why Barbie and Ken Aren’t…

Barbie and Ken:

It’s no secret, Barbie and Ken have been together forever.

Good old Barb and Ken.

This picture is proof that Barbie and Ken have been together so long, that Ken hadn’t even discovered tanning yet, or highlights, and Barbie was still rocking the alabaster look.  Here’s hoping that when they finally discovered that being tan increased their attractiveness by 50%, that they at least went for a faux glow.

They’ve come a long way, huh?

It's amazing what a little tan and highlights can do...

Barbie and Ken have been through a lot over the years…

They got married…

Barb even had Princess Di's dress replicated...

They reproduced a beautiful child…

And named her Kelly.

But sadly, that still didn’t stop Ken from breaking up with Barbie in a very public way…

Barb, Ken wants a divorce...P.S. Who does that?!

Kind of makes you wonder what Barbie did to anger Ken so much…

Whatever the case was, Barbie and Ken separated, and a few years later Ken put up another public plea, but this time he wanted Barbie back…

Oh, Ken...Make up your mind!!

By Valentine’s Day 2011, Barbie had taken Ken back…Maybe it was for Kelly, or maybe she was just lonely without him, nonetheless they rekindled their love…

Sure, they look like the perfect couple on paper...

However, I personally think, that if Ken can break Barbie’s heart so publicly after all those years together, than I predict that their romance will no doubt eventually fizzle out again.  The point is, Barbie and Ken are the perfect couple on paper, but there is still something fundamentally wrong with their union, and we may never know what that is.

Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog:

Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog have a bit of a tumultuous relationship, too.

Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog have been together a long time, too, but let’s face it, they haven’t always been the ideal couple.

In the early days, Kermit was making desperate attempts to flee Miss Piggy’s advances…

Kermy was NOT having it...

But somewhere along the way he conceded.  Maybe Kermit felt it was easier to just give in to her, or maybe he really started to really fall in love with Miss Piggy.

Nonetheless the Pig and the Frog married each other…

Kermy is totally feeling the love now...

Sure their relationship has been plagued with rumors of Miss Piggy coercing Kermit the Frog into marriage, but the point is, neither Miss Piggy or Kermy have confirmed nor denied the rumors.

The one thing that is clear, is who wears the pants in the relationship…

Sure she outweighs him, but he doesn't seem to mind. In fact, I think he likes it that way.

The point is, unlike Barbie and Ken, who had a passionate courtship and are the perfect couple on paper, Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog’s love may not have started out ideal, but it grew over time.  They didn’t fall in love and get married right away, they were friends first, and that allowed their love to blossom over time.  Miss Piggy and Kermy have been through good times and bad, and have stayed together through it all.  That says something.

Most of all, Kermit the Frog could have easily put Miss Piggy on blast for pushing him into marriage, but he didn’t.  Unlike Ken, Kermy stuck by Miss Piggy no matter what.  What a guy, ahhh-hmmm…frog!

And that is why I think Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog have what it takes to make it.

Forever.

~The End

Photos by muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Kermit_the_Frog, http://www.sesamestreet.org/muppets, coolgreenmag.com, alifeofstyle.com, womenarealwaysbeautiful.blogspot.com, longislandpress.com, adpr1400.blogspot.com

The Hoarders Have a Garage Sale…

Okay, so Matt and I aren’t really having a garage sale, per se, but we are selling all of our junk on a Craigslist-like website for his school.

We dedicated an entire evening last weekend to taking pictures of all of our junk, and typing out in-depth descriptions of each item.  Matt even included a time-lapse video of a chicken cooking in our Nu-Wave oven to really entice.

We had an array of stuff to say buh-bye to, like two coffee makers, a crock pot, an air purifier, two plug-in ovens, vast amounts of pots and pans, Tupperware, bed sheets, towels, two huge transformers, desk lamps, silverware, plates, bowls, and the list could go on and on and on and on.

(If you need some catching up on the back story of all of this, feel free to reacquaint yourselves with One Stack of Sh*t Away From an Episode of Hoarders.)

If I'm going to be a hoarder, I'd at least like to look like this classy broad while being one...

There was so much stuff to sell, that Matt actually looked at me at one point and said, “I’m a little embarrassed about all this junk!  People are gonna think we really are hoarding in here.”   We had a good laugh, and I think it’s safe to say that we were committed to getting rid of all the clutter, and I for one, felt a sense of relief just taking the first few steps to do that.

So, at the beginning of last week our post went up, and we waited for all the takers…

Two days went by and nothing…

Three days went by, and still no word…

However, by the fourth day, we had some pretty promising offers on our Nu-Wave oven. We didn’t even have any bartering, which I must say, really surprised me.  SCORE!

So, now that we’ve agreed to sell the Nu-Wave, there has been a shift of emotions on both of our parts.  I didn’t want to be the first one to say it, and I even held it in for a few days, but when Matt declared, “I don’t want to sell the Nu-Wave, it’s cooked me so many wonderful meals!!”

My first reaction was that I was relieved he was also a little sad to sell our trusty Nu-Wave, because it really had been such a life-saver (there is no proper oven in any of the dorms on campus), and I have to admit, I was feeling a little melancholy also at the thought of seeing it go…

But then…

A few words rang back in my head…

“It’s cooked me so many wonderful meals!!”

Wait, didn’t I cook those meals?!  The Nu-Wave was just an accessory!

My wistful feelings of the Nu-Wave immediately diminished, and suddenly I was not sad at all to see it go!

On a serious note, though…

As I looked at my first square Pyrex pan that cooked us so many delicious meals, I suddenly knew exactly what he was trying to say…

We’ve had some wonderful memories in Grenada, most of them revolving around food, but that’s another story for another day…

And although it’s time to say good-bye we’ll always remember these little gems…

Giada's Winter Minestrone Soup

Baked turkey breast

Barkoff family Easter treat...Hard-boiled sausage eggs...

I made this cake in a crock pot for our first Valentine's Day here...I even made the pink frosting with red food coloring.

Meatloaf also made in a crock pot. P.S. I'm laughing because I almost dropped it. If I had actually dropped it, I don't think I would be laughing...

Homemade pizza that got a little burnt on the edges...

Valentine's Day 2011. P.S. This cake was not made in a crock pot...Obvi.

Lasagna. Getting all Italian up in this piece...

Stuffing and the infamous Pyrex pan...

In just a few weeks we will say goodbye to Grenada, and hello to whatever the future holds.

~The End.

Photo by Bluntcard.