20 Ways To Trick People Into Thinking You’re Smart…

Frenchy: Hey, Marty, are those new glasses? Marty: Oh yeah, I just got them for school. Don't you think they make me look smarter? Rizzo: Nah, you can still see your face. down your bra?

Frenchy: Hey, Marty, are those new glasses?
Marty: Oh yeah, I just got them for school. Don’t you think they make me look smarter?
Rizzo: Nah, you can still see your face.

1.  Attend art galleries, and act deeply moved when you’re staring face to face with a giant painting of nothing but a big black dot.

2.  Say ‘palate’ whenever referring to your taste in food.

3.  Wear black framed, non-prescription ‘nerd’ glasses.

4.  Live in Brooklyn.

5.  Repeat ideas smart people have said in your presence and pretend that they’re your own.

6.  Use words like, actually, literally, honestly, and personally, at the start of most sentences.

7.  If you watch any reality television, You. Must. Not. Admit. This. EVER.

8.  Tell people your favorite television shows are Homeland, any HBO show (other than True Blood), Downton Abbey, or Breaking Bad.

9.  If you have nothing intelligent to contribute to Facebook, Twitter, etc., at the very least, use these correctly: there, they’re, their, your, you’re, we’re, were, then, than.

10.  Pretend you’re really up on politics, but only read the headlines.

11. Tell people your favorite movies are foreign films, and then name drop at least three titles.  Extra points if you pronounce them correctly.

12.  Hang out at any coffee shop except Starbucks, and preferably one that sells crappy coffee that costs twice as much as the chains.

13.  Shop at independent bookstores, and scour the historical fiction section (hopefully while wearing your black framed nerd glasses.)

14.  Tell people you studied abroad.

15.  Tell people you’ve read lots of books, and name-drop titles like The Importance of Being Earnest, Ulysses, A Tale of Two Cities, The Odyssey, The Old Man and the Sea, etc.

16.  Talk about Freud and drop at least one of his theories into conversation at a dinner party.

17.  Say you love every Woody Allen movie whenever given the chance.

18.  Use the word ‘juxtaposed’ in a sentence correctly.

19.  Use words like layered, texture, ripe, raw and supple when describing music.  Bonus points if you can use any of those words to describe Bon Iver’s music.

20.  When drinking red wine with friends, first refer to the taste as full-bodied and complex, then once you really have their attention, talk about how you love the hints of oak and cedar wood.

~The End.

Pictures courtesy of IMDB

About these ads

To Spill Or Not To Spill…

Do you ever get sick of yourself?  Like, when you’re talking, and suddenly you just want to scream, “Blah!  I don’t wanna talk about me anymore!  I’m over myself today!”  This happens to me a lot when I’m working at the salon, and mostly because I feel like so much of my day revolves around talking about my life.  I think other hair stylists will agree, when women are at the beauty salon they want to gossip, and let me tell you, I’ve heard some cray cray stuff in my time as a stylist.  What always surprises me, though, is how much clients want to know about me. Their questions range from personal to general, but I find that more often than not, I’m asked these questions: What brought you to New York? How long have you been married? How did you meet your husband?  What does your husband do?  Where do you live?  Do you want children?

Sometimes I feel like these ladies are looking at me all like:

You know you want to.

You know you want to.

I really don’t mind sharing things about my personal life, but sometimes it gets exhausting.  It can feel good to talk about myself and therapeutic to share stories, but there are other instances where divulging too much has made me feel overexposed.  I remember telling one client about the time Matt got really sick when we were living in Grenada and how scared I was.  An almost stranger knew about one of the most terrifying moments of my life, and I felt really weird about it afterward.

I think sharing personal anecdotes are one of the big ways women connect with each other (and human beings in general).  Women are emotional creatures, I get it, and I am very emotional, but I do find as I get older, I’m turning into more of a dude.  I don’t really like to have super long conversations on the phone anymore, I can’t stand gossip, and I’ve started to take things at face value more.  Maybe it’s because I live with a dude, maybe it’s because I’m content with where I am in my life, or maybe I simply spent my entire 20′s analyzing myself, and now at 30 I’m spent.  Either way, it’s safe to say I’m just not that into me anymore.  I mean, I love myself as I believe every confident person should, but I just don’t care to brag about how awesome my life is.

I guess I’m too busy living.

~The End.

Photo by Anne Taintor.

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas…

I can’t believe it’s already December, and that Christmas and my birthday are right around the corner!

On Saturday, I am getting the best birthday gift of all, which is to fly back to New York…ahem… first class.  Woo-Hoo!  I seriously cannot wait!

It’s crazy to think that today I spent one of my last days in Grenada soaking up some sun, but by Saturday, we’ll be back to the blistering cold again.

Here’s a shot from the beach today…

Grand Anse Beach

And how appropriate that we should return back to a New York winter, considering the first time we arrived in Grenada, we were escaping one of the worst New York winters ever!

January 2010. One of our first days ever in Grenada.

I guess you could say, we are coming full circle.

I’m definitely looking forward to some snow, which I can’t believe I actually just said, but I truly am.  I think what I’m really excited about is just being back in the great U.S. of A, and being with our families for the holiday season.

I have to give it to Grenada, they really do a great job bringing the holiday vibe to the island, despite the uncharacteristically hot, balmy weather.  Since mid October (yes, mid-October) all the workers in the local shops have been sporting red Santa hats, and everywhere you go, they play Christmas music.  Get this, one of the most popular albums they play is Dolly Parton’s “Home For Christmas!”  If that’s not random, I don’t know what is!  Let’s just say, I’m thrilled about it!

Snazzy outfit, Doll.

I have to admit, though, it definitely hasn’t been easy to get into the holiday spirit, even with Dolly on my side.  That is why I cannot wait to soak up all the holiday season has to offer in New York with Matt’s family, and Michigan with my family.

I fully intend on watching some of my favorite holiday flicks like…

1.)  Serendipity

This movie captures the holiday’s in NYC perfectly, complete with a glove war at Bloomingdale’s, and ice skating at Rockefeller Center.

And maybe Matt and I might finally make it into the city for some frozen hot chocolate at  the famous Serendipity 3, where we’ve meant to go since we started dating 4.5 years ago!  We haven’t made it yet, but here’s hoping.

Serendipity 3, where the film Serendipity was shot. P.S. It's right around the corner from Bloomingdale's, too, which could be dangerous...or fantastic!

2.)  Little Women

Don’t make fun!  This is one of my movies ever, mostly because I remind myself of Jo.  By the way, I took a Facebook quiz not too long ago called, “Which March sister are you?”, and I got Meg!  I was seriously so mad, I took it 3 more times, until I manipulated it to tell me I was the most like Jo.  True story.

Oh Marmee...P.S. I think I might have my future children call me Marmee, how cute is that?

3.)  Love Actually

Does anyone remember the scene from this film where Keira Knightly marries her husband, and he surprises her with a gospel choir singing the Beatles tune “All You Need is Love?”

Well, Matt and I thoroughly looked into getting a gospel choir our wedding, but after some in-depth research on YouTube of other people who apparently thought it was a cool idea too, we decided against it.  Let me just say, some things are just better relayed on film than in real life, but I fully intend on reliving that moment watching “Love Actually” this Christmas.

4.)  A Christmas Story

This movie is such a gem.  If you’ve never seen it, I highly recommend it.

“You’re gonna shoot yer eye out!  You’re gonna shoot yer eye out!”

Poor Randy...

5.)  Meet Me in St. Louis

Come on, you knew a theater nerd couldn’t resist a musical to get into the holiday spirit, right?

Wasn't Judy G. a total betty in her day?

I don’t know, there’s just something about the way Judy sang “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” that gets me every time…

Anyway…

Hmmm…other things I’m looking forward to this holiday season…wearing my new down coat, sporting my Uggs with chunky sweaters, getting my huuuurr did, eating lots of cookies (particularly the sugar cookies with frosting that my sis-in-law makes), spending time with family and friends, eating my mom’s stuffed peppers, eating my mother in law’s meatloaf…I’m starting to notice that most of the things I’m looking forward to revolve around food…not done yet, though…drinking hot chocolate with whipped cream, pumpkin spice Coffee-Mate coffee creamer, Starbuck’s chai lattes, the sugar cookies with the Christmas tree’s and bells in the middle, my dad’s egg “mcmuffins”, pizzelle’s, and maybe some banana pancakes (made by Matt hopefully!).

So…

What are you all looking forward to this holiday season?

~The End

Photos by Amazon, IMDB, Wikipedia, and bytesdaily.blogspot.com

The Hoarders Have a Garage Sale…

Okay, so Matt and I aren’t really having a garage sale, per se, but we are selling all of our junk on a Craigslist-like website for his school.

We dedicated an entire evening last weekend to taking pictures of all of our junk, and typing out in-depth descriptions of each item.  Matt even included a time-lapse video of a chicken cooking in our Nu-Wave oven to really entice.

We had an array of stuff to say buh-bye to, like two coffee makers, a crock pot, an air purifier, two plug-in ovens, vast amounts of pots and pans, Tupperware, bed sheets, towels, two huge transformers, desk lamps, silverware, plates, bowls, and the list could go on and on and on and on.

(If you need some catching up on the back story of all of this, feel free to reacquaint yourselves with One Stack of Sh*t Away From an Episode of Hoarders.)

If I'm going to be a hoarder, I'd at least like to look like this classy broad while being one...

There was so much stuff to sell, that Matt actually looked at me at one point and said, “I’m a little embarrassed about all this junk!  People are gonna think we really are hoarding in here.”   We had a good laugh, and I think it’s safe to say that we were committed to getting rid of all the clutter, and I for one, felt a sense of relief just taking the first few steps to do that.

So, at the beginning of last week our post went up, and we waited for all the takers…

Two days went by and nothing…

Three days went by, and still no word…

However, by the fourth day, we had some pretty promising offers on our Nu-Wave oven. We didn’t even have any bartering, which I must say, really surprised me.  SCORE!

So, now that we’ve agreed to sell the Nu-Wave, there has been a shift of emotions on both of our parts.  I didn’t want to be the first one to say it, and I even held it in for a few days, but when Matt declared, “I don’t want to sell the Nu-Wave, it’s cooked me so many wonderful meals!!”

My first reaction was that I was relieved he was also a little sad to sell our trusty Nu-Wave, because it really had been such a life-saver (there is no proper oven in any of the dorms on campus), and I have to admit, I was feeling a little melancholy also at the thought of seeing it go…

But then…

A few words rang back in my head…

“It’s cooked me so many wonderful meals!!”

Wait, didn’t I cook those meals?!  The Nu-Wave was just an accessory!

My wistful feelings of the Nu-Wave immediately diminished, and suddenly I was not sad at all to see it go!

On a serious note, though…

As I looked at my first square Pyrex pan that cooked us so many delicious meals, I suddenly knew exactly what he was trying to say…

We’ve had some wonderful memories in Grenada, most of them revolving around food, but that’s another story for another day…

And although it’s time to say good-bye we’ll always remember these little gems…

Giada's Winter Minestrone Soup

Baked turkey breast

Barkoff family Easter treat...Hard-boiled sausage eggs...

I made this cake in a crock pot for our first Valentine's Day here...I even made the pink frosting with red food coloring.

Meatloaf also made in a crock pot. P.S. I'm laughing because I almost dropped it. If I had actually dropped it, I don't think I would be laughing...

Homemade pizza that got a little burnt on the edges...

Valentine's Day 2011. P.S. This cake was not made in a crock pot...Obvi.

Lasagna. Getting all Italian up in this piece...

Stuffing and the infamous Pyrex pan...

In just a few weeks we will say goodbye to Grenada, and hello to whatever the future holds.

~The End.

Photo by Bluntcard.

Hooray for Halloween…That Scary Boo-ey Halloween

Don’t you just love Halloween?!  It’s the one night of the year where you can dress up as someone completely different from yourself, where gaudy make-up, channel your dark side, or even cross-dress if you’re into that sort of thing.  The bottom line is, anything goes.  Just think, you can be anything or anyone you want.  The possibilities are endless.

In the past I’ve dressed up as…(Well, these are the costumes I remember…)

Age 1:  Annie from the movie Annie…(I basically came out of the womb singing “Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow, you’re only a daaaaaaayyyyy ahhhhhh-waaaaaaayyyyyyy!”)  P.S.  My mom even put a little red curly wig on me.

Age 5:  Minnie Mouse

Age 7:  Tinkerbell

Age 9:  Wednesday from The Adams Family (I had a headless doll and everything.)

Age 11:  A male convict.  (What can I say?  I was inspired after going to Alcatraz in San Francisco and learning about Al Capone.)

Age 12:  A warty ugly witch

Age 14:  A cowgirl from Coyote Ugly

Age 15:  Juliet in her angel costume from the modern Romeo and Juliet

I still love this picture. My costume wasn't quite as good as this, but I remember that I spent hours and hours making my angel wings...

Age 16:  A hula girl

Age 17:  Britney Spears in her “Crazy” video outfit, which consisted of a shimmery green midriff top, complete with a wireless headset microphone.  Yeah, I did that…what of it?

Age  20:  Britney gone cowgirl  (P.S. Now I have no idea what that meant, but I think it was my interpretation of Britney Spears if she dressed like a cowgirl.  Yeah, I went through a Brit-Brit phase…that lasted about 6 years.  Don’t ask.)

Thought you all might appreciate this…

Don't laugh...Don't laugh...Okay, you can laugh.

Age 23:  Cowgirl take 2 (I’m noticing a trend here…)

Age 25:  An 80′s fitness instructor

Age 28:  DOLLY PARTON

Hello...DOLLY!

This picture was my style inspiration for becoming Dolly...How'd I do?

So, let’s talk about the Dolly costume for a quick second.  To sum it up simply…It was friggin’ exhausting being Dolly!  She wasn’t kidding when she said, “I look just like the girls next door… if you happen to live next door to an amusement park!”  Because that’s exactly what I felt like walking around as her for a night.  First of all, the bubbies were exhausting!!  I had to wear three bras stuffed with paper towel to get the right sized ta-ta’s.  I can’t imagine carrying the kind of weight around that Doll does.  She must have to do lots of back strengthening exercises to hold those suckers up!  Second of all, don’t even get me started on the hair!  So, I know Dolly doesn’t wear a wig (that we know of…) but that big hair is pretty burdensome, too!  Holy cow!  Let me just say that that’s a commitment rocking hair that large and in charge.  Maybe it’s because I can’t stand lots of products and stuff in my hair, or maybe it’s because it drives me crazy not being able to run my hands through my hair, but that beefed up hair was the pits.  Lastly, and third of all, to really metamorphosis into the Doll-inator, there has to be copious amounts of make-up.  I mean, you can’t be Dolly without the works…foundation, loose powder, pressed powder, cream blush, powder blush, pencil eyeliner, liquid eyeliner, multiple eye shadow colors, bright pink lipstick, and last but not lease, false lashes.  Now, I don’t know if Dolly wears that much make-up when she’s just chilling at home, but if she does; hat’s off to you, Doll!!

I must confess, my original plan was not to be Dolly Parton for Halloween, I was actually going to be Sookie from True Blood.  I bought the Merlott’s baby-tee, had the little apron ready to go, but when I put the wig on, it was just so completely ridiculous and big that there was no taming that sucker down.  I tried to put it back in a ponytail, and I’d say to myself, “Does that look like Sookie?”  I thought no.  I tried to put it in a side ponytail…”Does that look like Sookie?!”  A big fat no resounded.  So, I thought, “What’s a girl to do with a big blonde Texas beauty queen wig?”  Wait for it…wait for it…Be Dolly Parton instead!  DUH!

And thus the idea to become Dolly for Halloween was sprung.

Now, I don’t know if you noticed that I said become Dolly for Halloween, instead of be Dolly for Halloween…You want to know why?

That would be because this was more than a little dress up as Dolly, this was like a channel of Dolly.  Once I put that wig on, I was Dolly Parton.  I danced around in an interpretive country line dance (I say interpretive because I have no idea how to country line dance), I sang “Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jo-leee-eeenee…” until Matt said, “Okay, Jolene, enough!”  To which I replied, “I’m not Jolene, I’m Dolly.  Got it?”

It was awful fun being the Doll-inator, but just for one night.  She is way too involved to ever consider revisiting as many times as I did the cowgirl…

Sorry Doll…

Thought I’d leave you with a little Dolly P.

Have a listen –> 03 Jolene

Group shot!

Happy Halloween!

Hey!  Wait!  I almost forgot, what are you guys dressing up as for Halloween?!

10 Songs That Shaped My Life…

10.)  Love Shack by The B-52′s

“Tin roof…Rusted…” <–C’mon who doesn’t remember that?!

I fell in love with this song at the ripe old age of 8, and it is my first memory of hearing a song, and feeling an intense urge to bust a move.  This song sprung a barrage of made up dances between me and my childhood best friend, and I always, and I repeat ALWAYS had to do the “Tin roof…Rusted part,” or else I got really p’o-ed.  Just ask Bekka Parker (she was my childhood bff.)  Anyway, recently my brother heard it on satellite radio and he had to let me know, because I think he, along with my whole family, remembers when my friend and I would make up dances to it, and demand that they all watch us dance around like little freaks.  I think they’re still scarred…

Ummm...cowbells as an instrument? Brilliant!

Listen to it and see if it makes you wanna shake your groove thing…

04_-_love_shack_-_cosmic_thing 

9.)  The Sign by Ace of Base

Just a few short years later when I was about 11 or 12 “The Sign” came onto the scene.  I remember I was at the roller rink for a birthday party, and I heard this catchy pop melody playing from the jukebox, and thinking, “What is that glorious pop music I am hearing right now?!  I must find out!”  Someone informed me it was Ace of Base’s “The Sign,” which instantaneously put me on a mission the second I got home, to pop a cassette in my boombox, and try to catch it on the radio so I could tape it.  Once I finally recorded it, I must have listened to it a hundred times.

However, my love affair with this song quickly ended, when my dad tried to get me to sing it for an audition for Star Search a couple of years later.  I remember thinking that the song was soooooo old, and I felt so dorky doing it.  I ended up not going for the audition, and I couldn’t listen to the song for years after, because it reminded me of my adolescent awkward self trying to sing “I saw the sign, I saw the si–i-i-i-i-gn…I saw the sign…and it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign.”  Actually I can’t even think about it now, because it’s giving me the creeps!  Awkward!

But I still love the song!

"Life is demanding, without understanding." <--How profound...

Wanna hear it?  Listen below…

04_-_the_sign_-_the_ultimate_collection_(box_set)_(cd_1)

***Disclaimer:  I promise after this next one, I am done with all the cheesy pop music.***

8.)  Genie in a Bottle by Christina Aguilera

“I’m a genie in a bottle ba-bayyy, you gotta rub me the right way hon-eyyy…”<–Ahhwhat?

Yeah, she really said that.

So, I had to put this song on the list because when I think of being a teeny-bopper, I think of this song.  I used to sing this song in my 1994 white Ford Tempo, with the volume all the way up, and had no idea what these lyrics meant.  I honestly thought she was talking about a genie in a bottle.  Ummm..duh!  Straight up though, this song makes me think of my youth.  When I hear it, memories of belly baring shirts, over-highlighted hair, pink lip gloss, and poor imitations of Christina’s riffing, come flooding back…in a good way.

Back when Christina was Christina and not diiiiiirty X-Tina.

Wanna listen to X-Tina wail about a genie in a bottle?  Have a listen below…

01_-_genie_in_a_bottle_-_christina_aguilera

7.)  Both Hands by Ani Difranco

When I moved to New York for college when I was 19, was when I became all artsy-fartsy.  It’s also when I discovered Ani Difranco…also know as…ANI (said with great awe and enthusiasm.)  One of the first friends I met in NYC was playing around one night on her acoustic guitar and played “Both Hands” for me.  I remember hearing the lyrics, “I’m recording our history now on the bedroom wall, and when we leave the landlord will come
and paint over it all.”  This song always gives me a nostalgic feeling, and makes me think of my first year in New York.

Love her.

Wanna experience pure brilliance?  Listen below.

02 Both Hands

6.)  Solsbury Hill by Peter Gabriel

“My heart goin’ boom, boom, boom…”

This song defines my early 20′s.  After finishing school in New York, and feeling a little lost, I moved back home to Michigan for two years.  During that time, I put myself through cosmetology school, went through a bad break-up, and decided to move back to New York to pursue acting again and to try working as a hairstylist.  I just remember listening to this song over and over in my car when I was getting ready to go back to NYC, and being moved by it.  I don’t know how else to explain it.

If you ever go through a transitional phase in your life, discover this song.

This song will change your life.  Listen to it below and see for yourself…

Solsbury Hill

5.)  Gypsy by Fleetwood Mac

So, basically I am obsessed with Stevie Nicks…the hair, the long flowy dresses, the knee-high boots, the black-rimmed eyeliner, etc.  She’s no classic beauty, but she’s awesome.

This song reminds me of the second time I moved to New York, and the tiny little room I moved into.  You could seriously only fit a twin bed (barely) in there, and a little dresser.  I used to listen to this song over and over again.

A couple of years ago, I went to see Fleetwood Mac in a concert at Madison Square Garden, and Stevie sang this song.  She was amazing…naturally.  She said Gypsy is about finding love and about friendships.  This is what Stevie said about it: “Lightening strikes maybe once, maybe twice… that means one time in your life you find a very good friend, and maybe if you’re incredibly lucky, you might find a second. It all comes down to you, means but you have to look very hard.”

Love you, Stevie.

Seriously, how freaking cool is she?

Experience a little Stevie in your life…

04 Gypsy

4.)  Defying Gravity from the musical Wicked

Okay, so you all knew a quintessential theater nerd couldn’t resist putting at least one show tune on this list.  Really though, this song is phenom.

When I think of this song I think about coming to terms with leaving a bad job situation.  I had worked in a salon for a while, but over time, it became clear that it was not working out how I hoped it would.  It was disappointing, but I knew I had to move on.  I was scared to take such a risk, though.  I had put in a lot of time and hard work, so it was devastating to realize it was falling apart.  On top of all that, I was just feeling like I wasn’t good at anything.  It was kind of a low point, but I knew it had to get better because it couldn’t get any worse.

Right around that time, my Grandma Barkoff ended up passing away, and I went home to be with my family.  While I was home, I knew it was time to cut the strings with the job situation.  It took a lot of courage, but I finally left the job and moved on.  I ended up finding an amazing job soon after, where I felt appreciated and finally recognized for my talents.  It was the best decision I ever made.

And thus, “Defying Gravity” became my anthem.

P.S.  You know you’re a theater nerd when nothing pumps you up more than a show tune.

"I'm flying high defying gravity."

Get lifted.  Listen below…

11 Defying Gravity

3.)  Is this Love by Bob Marley

This song hands down reminds me of when Matt and I were falling in love.  On our second date he took me to a G Love concert in Central Park.  I remember he waited with me in line for almost an hour to use the gross porta-potty, and while we waited there we heard “Is this Love” by Bob Marley.  I said, “Oh my God, I love this song,” to which he replied, “Me too.”  We then had an awkward moment trying not to look at each other, because we were both probably thinking the same thing, which was…Is this love?

Bob the legend.

Wanna find out if this is love?  Listen below…

13 Is This Love

2.)  Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes by Paul Simon

“People say she’s crazy, she’s got diamonds on the soles of her shoes.  Well, that’s one way to lose these walking blues, diamonds on the soles of your shoes.”

Oh Paul Simon, what can I say?  You speaka my language.

It was hard for me to narrow it down to just one Paul Simon song, because he is my favorite artist of all time.  There is something so completely beautiful about his lyrics and his ability to string melodies into them.  Recently I was a Barnes and Noble and got really excited when I found a hard-covered Paul Simon Lyrics coffee table book on one of those 60% off sales.  I snatched it right up, and have every intention of displaying it on my coffee table when Matt and I finally have a real apartment soon.  I love him and I love this song.

Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes reminds me of when Matt and I first arrived in Grenada.  We listened to Paul Simon’s greatest hits album like it was out J-O-B.  This song was the perfect song to listen to after coming to a tropical paradise from the bitter cold of a New York winter.  It’s got sort of a Caribbean flair to it, and will always remind me of when we Matt started his medical career.

Wanna be soul-mates with me, Paul Simon?

Have a listen for yourself…

13_-_diamonds_on_the_soles_of_her_shoes_-_greatest_hits

1.)  Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole

To know this song, is to love it.

I first heard this version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow probably about ten years ago.  It was playing in the credits at the end of a movie, which I can’t remember what that movie was now.  I absolutely loved it, and I have loved it ever since.

When I met Matt I found out that he loved it, too, and it basically became the theme song of our relationship.  It was playing when we got engaged, I walked down the aisle at our wedding to it, and we also had our first dance to it, too.  We both just absolutely love it, and maybe that’s because we both love Hawaii, and this song reminds us of paradise.  Either way, it’s a beautiful song, and in my opinion, the most beautiful ever.

Brother Iz is the bomb.

Listen below…

14_-_somewhere_over_the_rainbow_-_what_a_wonderful_world_-_facing_future

~The End

Photos courtesy of blog.ctnews.com, amazon.com, freecodesource.com, worleygig.com, blog.needsupply.com, eightoclocktwilight.wordpress.com, rockhall.com, musicstack.com.

One Stack of Sh*t Away From an Episode of Hoarders…

I cannot wait until Matt and I don’t have to live like hoarders anymore.

Let me explain…

Living in Grenada in married student housing is, well, interesting.  It makes a tiny studio apartment living in Manhattan look like a palace compared to this.  Basically we have no oven, only two burners, one teeny tiny table that’s not even big enough for two people to eat on, no counter space whatsoever, a tiny sink that fits about two dishes, thankfully a microwave at the least, and to sum it up, we basically sleep 7 feet away from where we cook.  Ugh.

There is literally no closet space or storage space either, for that matter.  In our bathroom, we don’t even have one shelf, so all of our bathroom stuff is either piled in our closets or on Matt’s desk.  Yeah, we’ve been pretty much living like two college freshman roomies for the past two years.

It’s seriously gotten to a point, where recently I was flipping through television stations (Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, we actually don’t have a TV either <–no room for one, but thankfully we have Slingbox on our computers), and I passed an episode of Hoarders, and it seriously hit a little too close to home.  My forehead began to sweat, and I realized…(hint: read below…)

Seriously.

It’s time to face the music, and come to terms with this fact.  When people come to our apartment for the first time, they usually all say the same thing, which is, “Why do you guys have so much stuff???  You’re living in Grenada, just deal with not having all your normal stuff for a while!”  However, for Matt and I, that is not an option.  <–Insert a Bwaaaahhhaaaahaaaa Bwaaaahaaaaa laugh right here, to personify just how completely ludicrous an option like that is to us.  If you knew us, than you would know that we are two people who some might call “characters,” and we’re also pretty stuck in our ways.  We’re both very particular about the things we like, and we’d rather live like hoarders, than not have all of our favorite stuff.  Yeah, we’re pretty irrational people.

However, I must say, that I’m happy we both prefer to live this way, because if I was the only one like that, then Matt might complain to his friends that he married a crazy hoarder lady, and that would be really bad, don’t ya think?!

On another side note, we are so much alike in other ways, too, that it’s downright scary.  For instance, we both get on what I like to call a “food fixation kick,” which is when we decide we like something, and then that is literally all we eat for about 3-12 months, until one day we eat it, and then we decide that we’re over it.  I’ve never met anyone else who does that besides me in my life!  Let me give you an example of some of my food fixation kicks:  Healthy Choice minestrone soup (lasted about 6 months), Oreo O’s cereal (about 11 months when I was 19), Special K with Red Berries cereal (12 months), Santa Fé Rice and Beans Lean Cuisine (5 months), and generic brand Bran Flakes cereal (5 months).  Matt’s food fixations:  Potato Buds (from what I’m told this lasted about 12 months), Mrs. T’s Potato and Onion Pierogi’s (still going), chocolate chip granola bars (6 months), spinach (still going), and also generic brand Bran Flakes cereal (about 6 months).  I know, I know, we’re kind of a couple of weirdo’s, especially with the generic bran flakes…P.S.  One time we went to the grocery store and bought their entire supply of bran flakes, and everyone looked at us like we were totally nuts.

Okay, so that had absolutely nothing to do with living like hoarders, but it shows how much alike we are, so there.

I just wanted to share one example of our hoarders situation…

See what I mean? P.S. This is my closet organized.

I could show you more, but it might just make you tense.  For example we have to keep some of our non-perishable food in suitcases because we have no room to store it in the cupboards, but you didn’t want to see that, did you?

Luckily, we only have about two more months living here, and then it’s back to the United States, so Matt can take his Step 1 exam and begin his clinical rotations.  I really hope our next apartment has a dishwasher, or at the very least, a big enough sink that I can at least wash a pot in comfortably.  I’m really just looking forward to being back on American soil, because sometimes living here makes me feel as though I’m living on Gilligan’s Island, but without The Skipper, Gilligan, Mr. and Mrs. Howell, and Maryann. <–Did you notice that I left out Ginger and The Professor?  It’s because that’s who Matt and I would be.

Hey Prof...What's shakin'?

Anyway, when we are finally back in the U.S. I am really looking forward to some frozen yogurt, McDonald’s, a Starbucks mocha-coconut frappuccino light w/no whip, a decent mani and pedi, perhaps a shopping spree at Forever 21, and a meal at Rosa Mexicano with double guac.  I haven’t had any of these things in so long, and I kind of feel like I’m losing my marbles.

The good news is that we are flying back to New York Rock City on my freaking birthday, December 10th!  Can you believe it?!  Soon after we’re back, we will start looking for apartments wherever Matt gets placed for clinicals, and I cannot wait for the new and exciting prospects.

But more than anything else, I am looking forward to not living like hoarders anymore.

Hip hip hooray!

~The End

Photos from IMDB and someecards.com

Would You Rather…

Be stranded on a desert island with your 4 worst enemies?

B*tches might make your life miserable, but then again, maybe you'd start to like each other after awhile...

Or be completely alone?

And lose your marbles like this fool...

Would you rather be alone and rich?

Leona Helmsley was so rich, but died so alone that she left her fortune to her dog. No, I'm not kidding.

Or be loved and poor?

Are you really poor if you're rich in love?

Would you rather live a long life but never find true love?

Can you ever truly be fulfilled if never loved in return?

Or live a short life but experience passionate true love for 6 months?

Can anything really match the feeling of being loved? Even if it's in exchange for a shorter life?

Would you rather be able to fly?

Just think, you could go anywhere in the world you've ever wanted to go...

Or be able to read minds…

And you could know what everyone is really thinking...but maybe your feelings might get hurt if you could...

So…

Tell me…

What would you rather?

12 Things That Movies Have Taught Me About Life…

Everything I’ve Learned About Life, I’ve Learned From Movies…

1.)  Jerry Maguire from Jerry Maguire taught me how to deal with stressful work sitch’s when he said:  “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna do what you all think I’m gonna do, which is, you know, FLIP OUT!”

Jer-Bear's about to lose his sh*t...

2.)  Llyod Dobler from Say Anything taught me what kind of guy I should hold out for when he said:  “What I really want to do with my life – what I want to do for a living – is I want to be with your daughter. I’m good at it.”

Oooooooh Llyod...What a dreamboat.

3.)  Cady from Mean Girls taught me about girl code:  “Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.”

Note taken.

4.)   Loretta Castorini from Moonstruck taught me about table etiquette:  “My mother has a saying. Do you want to hear it?  Don’t shit where you eat!”

'Nuff said.

and Loretta also taught me about proper funeral attire…

“In time you’ll drop dead and I’ll come to your funeral in a red dress!”

5.)  Julia from The Wedding Singer taught me about what is an appropriate wedding kiss:  “Not porno tongue. Church tongue.”

Thanks for the demo guys.

6.)  Elle Woods from Legally Blond taught me about awesome comebacks:  “Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.”

Oh no she di-ent...

7.)  Brooke and Gary from The Break-Up taught me that there are just some things men and women will never see eye to eye on:  Brooke:  “I want you to want to do dishes.”  Gary:  “Why would I want to do dishes?!”

Men are obvi from Mars...

8.)  Harry from When Harry Met Sally showed me that, like Sally, I am indeed high maintenance when he said:  Harry: “There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.”  Sally: “Which one am I?”  Harry: “You’re the worst kind; you’re high maintenance but you think you’re low maintenance.”

Just another high maintenance broad...

9.)  Baby from Dirty Dancing taught me that everybody has an awkward moment now and then when she said:  “I carried a watermelon.” (Johnny walks away)  “I carried a watermelon!?”

We've all had a watermelon moment, eh?

10.)  Cher from Clueless taught me that it’s okay to be super choosy when it comes to boys when she said:  “You see how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet.”

Take your sweet time, Cher.

11.)  Annie from Annie taught me how to stick up for myself:  “All right, who’s next? Anybody else? Then get lost!”

Sure, she looks sweet...but she sure is scrappy.

And last but not least…

12.)  Truvy from Steel Magnolias taught me how to keep it real:  “There is no such thing as natural beauty.”

Gotta love the Doll-inator keepin' it real yo.

And thanks Dolly…

All photos courtesy of IMDB